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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760686" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi. I'm so happy about your house! Enjoy it. Enjoy the peace. If you decided to suffer because your son refused to get clean (and it IS his decision) your son will still be unhappy. Yes, he was probably drunk. That's what addicts do, all of ours. We have no way to save or help them. This is truly a disease where the person has to do it himself. Think about everyone you have heard about who quit drinking and are now sober. It can be done. It is 100 percent up to him. You are not able to do anything.</p><p></p><p>If you were in Nar Anon you would get this exact message and be encouraged to live your own best life. A therapist would tell you the same. And you are allowed to set boundaries. One of our boundaries was that Kay could only call us from 9-9. The phone went off after that and we put it in a drawer. We knew things happen at night but we are not medical or psychiatric professionals....we were not the best people for her to call in a crisis. We did not know what to do, even if she had gotten into another car accident. </p><p></p><p>Kay learned to call hotlines and go to ER. Most self pity and drama happen at 1 am, and a call so late is frightening to us. So that was one boundary we set. </p><p></p><p>If God is in your life try maybe giving your son AND your son's future to God. Enjoy your new life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760686, member: 23706"] Hi. I'm so happy about your house! Enjoy it. Enjoy the peace. If you decided to suffer because your son refused to get clean (and it IS his decision) your son will still be unhappy. Yes, he was probably drunk. That's what addicts do, all of ours. We have no way to save or help them. This is truly a disease where the person has to do it himself. Think about everyone you have heard about who quit drinking and are now sober. It can be done. It is 100 percent up to him. You are not able to do anything. If you were in Nar Anon you would get this exact message and be encouraged to live your own best life. A therapist would tell you the same. And you are allowed to set boundaries. One of our boundaries was that Kay could only call us from 9-9. The phone went off after that and we put it in a drawer. We knew things happen at night but we are not medical or psychiatric professionals....we were not the best people for her to call in a crisis. We did not know what to do, even if she had gotten into another car accident. Kay learned to call hotlines and go to ER. Most self pity and drama happen at 1 am, and a call so late is frightening to us. So that was one boundary we set. If God is in your life try maybe giving your son AND your son's future to God. Enjoy your new life. [/QUOTE]
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