Mtg at 3:00 with difficult child's guidance counselor

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Apr 3, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I hope the G.C. is prepared, because it is not going to be pretty. husband is beyond angry. And, as most of you may know, it takes A LOT to even get him involved. The fact that is is now April, the last quarter of the school year, and her teachers have NO IDEA that she has a 504! And, then the G.C. just wants to tell them she is having some "personal problems" UGH!!! Please tell them the truth. She has such bad school anxiety that just walking into the building takes a ton of energy for her. I do not understand why it is so hush hush. difficult child is fine with her teachers knowing.

    Hopefully we can get 3rd quarters grades fixed. Because husband will lose it on them if she ends up failing classes this quarter because her teachers never knew of her issues.
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    Ug ug ug! No matter what GC says I'd also contact each teacher myself as well. And maybe the principal, too. They should have been notified from the beginning and since she's in high school the grades she gets impacts her chances at what colleges she can attend.
  3. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I plan on emailing everyone. And, as much as we hope that difficult child can attend college in the fututre, now the main focus is to get her through H.S. and her grade level principle know what is going on. I think the behavior problems that go on take presidence over it. And, I am guessing that the administration doesn't really care about the 504 because they do not get any $ like they do with an IEP.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I wrote on your other thread.

    This is why 504 plans fail so often.

    But......Now,.either she has to admit the school did not follow the plan which should give you ammunition to get more....or you have a civil rights suit...

    Or they play CYA and have to admit they tried a504 and it didn't work so now it's time for an iep in the emotional behavioral disorders category.....finally get the people trained to work with kids like difficult child on board.

    Of course, if you could get an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) evaluation.....if that really is what's going on....that would mean another focus and other supports....

    You asked if it would help to know that and tell her.... Depends on her.

    There are people who find it comforting to know they are not just a problem....or weird, etc. it helps some to read about others like them and to structure their lives playing to their strengths.

    But first you have to figure out if that's what it is.....
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Soooo curious how things went. I didn't hear about any parents holding iep teams hostage on TV so I figure it wasn't too out of control!
  6. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    It wasn't too horrid. Her GC admitted he didn't "enact" her 504, because she was doing OK, and didn't seem to need it. Great, so wait until we are digging out of a hole and then decide to use it. Thanks buddy. He mentioned that her Algebra 2 teacher (the class that she has an F on her report card) said there was no need to make up any of it, because it isn't fundamental work. Alright, then 1)why are you teaching material that is not fundamental, 2)why wouldn't you want a child to make up work? So, we told the GC that difficult child spoke with him about incompletes, and why did she not have one in Algebra? We told him that he needed to contact the Algebra teacher, and difficult child is going to be allowed to make up the quizzes and test, we would take a wash on the H.W. for last quarter. The GC stammered a little and said he would need to check with the teacher. I stood my ground and said there was to be no discussion. It was going to happen. Also told him that difficult child would be having modified HW for that class as well. That she cannot do 30-40 problems a night. That 3-5 is plenty. (I have never understood why teachers do that. If they can do 5 of them what does doing 30 more prove?) So, we will see how this quarter goes.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Gc does not get to decide to enact or not enact a disability plan!
  8. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I very politely explained that to him. GC is supposed to be in contact with the Algebra teacher, and then meet with difficult child on Friday. It better be resolved by then, because I am going to be one very very unhappy momma on Mon. morning if I have to be in there at 7:30.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    They really let you guys down. I'm so sorry.
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Yeah they did. I am trying to not get too down. It just adds to my frustration with everything.
  11. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    The right kind of button pushing and that could cost him his job. You are being very nice working with him on this.

    Is there anything in the 504 to help her just get in the door?

    *I'd still contact every teacher just in case.
  12. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    There is nothing to just get her in the door. I would love for her best friend to be the one to wait for her. But, I so not want to put that kind of pressure on another child. She is embarrassed to have an adult have to come get her. And is starting to shut down with it. I am emailing all of her teachers today.
  13. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Honestly, I'm not even sure what to say. I would be absolutely livid with that GC!!! He didn't enact the 504 because he didn't see the need for it? Is he freakin' kidding me? It's not for him to decide whether it's necessary of not. It's in place for a reason and her teachers should have been made aware of it. I would be letting the principal that the GC took matters into his own hands instead of following the plan that was put in place for a reason. You're being far nicer than I would be.
  14. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    The only reason I am treading lightly is because if difficult child finds out I made any kind f a stink, she will shut down. Any attention brought towards her and she will be back to square one (or even further behind) But, I am more than angry, and will be talking to her grade level principle over this. I just have to watch how I do it. And, I have learned that I need to take a day or 2 to calm down before I contact them because when I am that upset, I am not as effective at getting my point across.
  15. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I certainly can relate to the attention thing and taking difficult child back some steps -- I dealt with that more when difficult child was in middle school rather than high, but I totally understand. It makes our job a little harder because we have to do our work "in the shadows".

    Follow your gut on this SM while holding their feet to the fire.

  16. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    My difficult child is like that, too. He behaves wonderfully in school, so he does not want attention called to his behavior at home. He doesn't want the teachers to know.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    You NEED to take this to the Superintendent of Schools and the state's dept of education. You also need to contact the dept of ed that handles civil rights because they violated hers. Who knows how many other kids have plans that have not been enacted because a GC decided they were not needed. THis is HUGE and HORRIBLE.

    Also contact a disability law center. They will have a FIT. There is a disability group that will also have a fit. If I remembeer the name I will pm you.

    I am so sorry. How did you not end up strangling this GC? I would be SOOOOOOOOOO wanting to!
  18. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I am glad you stood your ground. As the others said, this could cost him his job. What a stupid @*@$% excuse for education philosophy!
    I'd be at the superintendent's ofc no matter what.
    And I do hear you about not making a stink because your difficult child may just shut down. My difficult child gets like that too. That's where his clonidine comes in, and that's when we repeat that it is NOT his fault, it is the school we are upset with and that we are AGREEING with-him. And if he doesn't go to school and meet them halfway, he loses his electronics.
    I feel for you.
    This makes me so angry I could spit.
  19. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Our difficult child fought against us in the fight, too.... until... we started getting results.
    Now? He threatens them that he'll call us into whatever situation he's in (with the school).

    Fight. She needs that enforceable IEP.