Mtg with treatment team

[toughlovin]

Well we had a good and interesting meeting with my son and the treatment team at the outpatient program he is in. It was good because first we talked about his strengths which I he and they came up with a lot of good ones. We also talked about his state of change in both mental health issues and substance abuse issues and his challenges. What I am glad about is my son was honest about where he is at. I like the fact they talk about state of change and listen to where he is really at.

We of course all know he needs to stay sober. What became clear because of his honesty is the only thing keeping him sober (given also a couple relapses) are external forces. He knows the external consequences of using are big and terrible and so he is white knuckling it not to use. So it is good to know that is where he is at, but of course also worrisome. He admitted that if he was not on probation and won the lottery he would be high every day!! So of course that is a worry because unless he gets to the point where he sees some benefits internally for staying sober he probably wont stay clean and sober. Drinking and drugging is still his main coping skill when bad things happen and we all know in life bad things happen.

So he is not where I would like him to be.... but the honesty is very positive. Because he certainly knows how to lie and manipulate us and tell us what we want to hear and today I dont think he did that.

TL

 

[Tired out]

I agree with you. It doesn't' sound like he was lying. He was upfront about wanting his drugs. At least he wasn't pretending that he is over that. I hope he stays in program and sees how good life can be without the drugs.

 

[toughlovin]

That is my hope too. I hope he gets to the point where he finds reasons to stay off drugs other than external legal ones!

 

[Sam3]

A long recovered heroin addict, mom I know reminded me recently that the 100% sobriety, in-program, buy-in, is not what “recovery” has to look like.

She said many times you just “get the person,” (which is in itself new) and the change is revealed like the layers of an onion.