Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Much Anxiety
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 763033" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My heart is broken, too.</p><p></p><p>My son (again) wants my help. I told him something like this over the phone.<em> We have tried and tried. Each time you come back it is the same thing. You can choose the way you want to live, but it is not fair that we have to live the way you live or accept you around us when you bring the way you live into our lives and you force us to accommodate you and not the other way around. The way you live and the way we live are incompatible. Actually, I can't stand how you live. While you keep yourself clean, your habits are of a street person. I cannot stand it. Over and over again I have told you the kinds of help you need to seek out and commit too. You don't want to. Your coming back is like a revolving door. I was wrong to let you come back so many times, even though you had not committed to change. It was unfair to you and it hurt you. I don't want to keep making the same mistake and I won't.</em></p><p></p><p>In a couple of text afterwards I told him my heart was broken. Actually I cannot bear the heartache. When I feel it, it is intolerable. And I know that there is no cure. I have to just wait until I am distracted for it to go away, because I do believe my heart is broken in pieces. But this does not mean that I have to sacrifice my own body and soul and life and lifeforce to a situation that is toxic to me and unbearable. My life has value. I have value. I work at a profession I love. I am useful and purposeful. It would be wrong to sacrifice myself and my ability to work for and help others.</p><p></p><p>I guess what I am saying here is that while we have to bear and tolerate our broken hearts, this does not mean that we should sacrifice our whole person, our whole personality, our lives. This is what I did before. I actually did a form of human sacrifice, with the sense (unconscious largely) that if I sacrificed myself, that he might get better. (I don't recommend it. It does not work.)</p><p></p><p>You must do the right thing for yourself, to protect yourself. The only way out for our children, is that we insist that they do for themselves. Your daughter has demonstrated that she can learn and that she can change. There is no reason to assume that she won't or can't return to making better decisions. She backslid and it led to terrible consequences. She can learn. She must learn.</p><p></p><p>And we must learn too. That even though our hearts are broken, we can still walk the walk, and we will.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 763033, member: 18958"] My heart is broken, too. My son (again) wants my help. I told him something like this over the phone.[I] We have tried and tried. Each time you come back it is the same thing. You can choose the way you want to live, but it is not fair that we have to live the way you live or accept you around us when you bring the way you live into our lives and you force us to accommodate you and not the other way around. The way you live and the way we live are incompatible. Actually, I can't stand how you live. While you keep yourself clean, your habits are of a street person. I cannot stand it. Over and over again I have told you the kinds of help you need to seek out and commit too. You don't want to. Your coming back is like a revolving door. I was wrong to let you come back so many times, even though you had not committed to change. It was unfair to you and it hurt you. I don't want to keep making the same mistake and I won't.[/I] In a couple of text afterwards I told him my heart was broken. Actually I cannot bear the heartache. When I feel it, it is intolerable. And I know that there is no cure. I have to just wait until I am distracted for it to go away, because I do believe my heart is broken in pieces. But this does not mean that I have to sacrifice my own body and soul and life and lifeforce to a situation that is toxic to me and unbearable. My life has value. I have value. I work at a profession I love. I am useful and purposeful. It would be wrong to sacrifice myself and my ability to work for and help others. I guess what I am saying here is that while we have to bear and tolerate our broken hearts, this does not mean that we should sacrifice our whole person, our whole personality, our lives. This is what I did before. I actually did a form of human sacrifice, with the sense (unconscious largely) that if I sacrificed myself, that he might get better. (I don't recommend it. It does not work.) You must do the right thing for yourself, to protect yourself. The only way out for our children, is that we insist that they do for themselves. Your daughter has demonstrated that she can learn and that she can change. There is no reason to assume that she won't or can't return to making better decisions. She backslid and it led to terrible consequences. She can learn. She must learn. And we must learn too. That even though our hearts are broken, we can still walk the walk, and we will. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Much Anxiety
Top