My 10 year old daughter pees her bedroom carpet.

AbbyE

New Member
I’m really hoping someone on here will be able to provide some guidance and support on what I can do about my 10 year old daughter peeing her bedroom carpet.
She never used to do this and my husband and I are quite concerned on what’s happening. She won’t open up and tell us what’s bothering her and her reasoning behind it. She was bullied her old school but that was over 3 years ago.
I just took her to her doctor to find out if maybe it’s a medical condition and we’re awaiting the lab results. I have also booked a child counselling appointment to see if it’s a physiological issue.
If anyone else has any suggestions or tips to help better the situation I would greatly appreciate the support.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Dear Abby

I am sorry you are facing this difficult thing for a parent, the worry and not knowing what to do or what to think. I think you are taking the correct first steps, to ascertain if there is a medical cause, and booking a counseling appointment.

These are questions I would have: How is her school work? How has she been doing socially? Up until this point, how were her moods, behavior and relationships with family members? I recognize that with Coronavirus, (if you're here in the States) everything has been disrupted in all of our lives. How is she dealing with all of this? How does she respond to her peeing on the carpet? Does she try to hide it or show shame, or the reverse?

Other than this, has she experienced any recent trauma or stressful event, of which you are aware? I would be prepared to discuss all of this, or any of it, with the physician and counselor.

Besides a medical cause, I believe there are various factors that professionals might look to including dietary, ADHD, Aspergers, Trauma such as sexual abuse, oppositional behavior, conflict in the family such as arguing, divorce, etc., and stress. I believe that each of these factors might lead to a somewhat different intervention or treatment.

I have two ideas about more resources. A Regional Children's Hospital will have a Child Development Clinic. There your daughter can see a Child Neuropsychologist who will give her a battery of diagnostic tests and she will also be interviewed by a social worker and psychiatrist, and possibly a child neurologist. We did this for my son.

The other idea I have if it is available near you is some kind of experiential and expressive therapy. This could be art or drama therapy or music therapy, or equine therapy. If something like this is available, I would choose among them based upon my child's interests. There may be nearby a program that would be free or sliding scale. These types of therapies in my experience can be much easier for a child, than "talk therapy" because they can be fun, and don't rely so much on talking, but on expressing, and feeling and being and doing.

This may sound far-fetched but martial arts training for a child this age can be very positive, with the right teacher, but only after trauma as been ruled out. For example, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is gentle and it involves a strong relationship with a teacher. This alone can be a great support. That's what my own son did. It was a tremendously positive experience for my son.

Welcome to you. Please keep us posted. And I hope you keep posting. It helps.
 
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AbbyE

New Member
Dear Abby

I am sorry you are facing this difficult thing for a parent, the worry and not knowing what to do or what to think. I think you are taking the correct first steps, to ascertain if there is a medical cause, and booking a counseling appointment.

These are questions I would have: How is her school work? How has she been doing socially? Up until this point, how were her moods, behavior and relationships with family members? I recognize that with Coronavirus, (if you're here in the States) everything has been disrupted in all of our lives. How is she dealing with all of this? How does she respond to her peeing on the carpet? Does she try to hide it or show shame, or the reverse?

Other than this, has she experienced any recent trauma or stressful event, of which you are aware? I would be prepared to discuss all of this, or any of it, with the physician and counselor.

Besides a medical cause, I believe there are various factors that professionals might look to including dietary, ADHD, Aspergers, Trauma such as sexual abuse, oppositional behavior, conflict in the family such as arguing, divorce, etc., and stress. I believe that each of these factors might lead to a somewhat different intervention or treatment.

I have two ideas about more resources. A Regional Children's Hospital will have a Child Develop Clinic. There your daughter can see a Child Neuropsychologist who will give her a battery of diagnostic tests and she will also be interviewed by a social worker and psychiatrist, and possibly a child neurologist. We did this for my son.

The other idea I have if it is available near you is some kind of experiential and expressive therapy. This could be art or drama therapy or music therapy, or equine therapy. If something like this is available, I would choose among them based upon my child's interests. There may be nearby a program that would be free or sliding scale. These types of therapies in my experience can be much easier for a child, than "talk therapy" because they can be fun, and don't rely so much on talking, but on expressing, and feeling and being.

This may sound far-fetched but martial arts training for a child this age can be very positive, with the right teacher, but only after trauma as been ruled out. For example, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is gentle and it involves a strong relationship with a teacher. This alone can be a great support. That's what my own son did. It was a tremendously positive experience for my son.

Welcome to you. Please keep us posted. And I hope you keep posting. It helps.
Thank you so much for reaching out with your suggestions. We live in Canada and both my kids were affected by the sudden changes the Coronavirus took. My daughter didn’t seem to mind the sudden change and actually enjoyed the online learning. I do know that she was missing her friends and being able to have that social interaction at recess.
We did move a few years ago and her previous school diagnosed her with a mild learning disability but it never had any negative impact on her. Once she started in her new school she was provided with phenomenal resources and support that exceeded my expectations. Since then she has been taking school seriously and has been quite successful.
I’m hoping that her doctor and therapist will be able to provide us with some answers, so that she can get all the support she needs.
Thank you so much again for your support 😊
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Thank you so much again for your support
You are welcome, Abby. I hope you stay with us a while. I have been here more than 5 years! Being able to express myself openly to other mothers who have dealt with the same thing, has been invaluable. Even though I don't post much anymore about our particular circumstances, I find that reading others' stories and offering support, helps me to better handle my anxiety and fear about my child (and myself). Take care!
 

susiestar

Roll With It
I realize I am late to this, but I wanted to add my welcome. This is a wonderful forum to help you figure things out, and to really understand when something out of the ordinary is going on.

Have you discussed why she pees on her floor? Does she get so caught up in what she is doing that she forgets to go to the bathroom until it is too late? Is there something that bothers her in the bathroom that keeps her from going in to use the toilet? Maybe if you talk about this, and use a timer to have her go to the bathroom every 2-3 hours, it will help her stop the accidents.

It is very good that you have an appointment with a therapist lined up. Suddenly having accidents can be a symptom of some types of problems that you need a professional to help with.
 
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