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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618843" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>To me it sounds like, although he may not have used drugs at home, he has used them, maybe a lot, and probably still is. As soon as you said he once disappeared for two days, I thought "drugs." I had a drug using daughter and they are masters at hiding their use. Psychodelics can mess BIG TIME with their mental health. When he isn't home, I'd check his room, his facebook and his cell phone that you probably pay for to see if there are signs that he is using drugs. If so, you have your reason why he is acting like this.Then you can make decisions about what YOU want to do about it, what boundaries to set.</p><p></p><p>Also, since he is now an adult, you can't commit him. It's hard enough to do that even with a minor child. The person has to be an imminent threat to himself and others and can't be calmed down by the time they see him in ER. I have a friend who tried taking her son in after he had attacked her husband and they said, "Well, he's calm now" and sent him home. In fact, you have no control over the situation at all except to, the best of your ability, learn the truth about what is causing his odd behavior and to decide what you want to do about it while he lives in your house.</p><p></p><p>I am hoping Recovering Enabler answers this post. She is so good at explaining detachment and how you still have a very separate life outside of your son and how you should enjoy your life even though your son is choosing to make darn sure he doesn't enjoy his. Yes, he is choosing it.</p><p></p><p>Have you ever drug tested him? It's hardly a perfect test and drugs like spice will not show up. But you may be shocked at what you do find.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. I hope things get better very, very soon!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618843, member: 1550"] To me it sounds like, although he may not have used drugs at home, he has used them, maybe a lot, and probably still is. As soon as you said he once disappeared for two days, I thought "drugs." I had a drug using daughter and they are masters at hiding their use. Psychodelics can mess BIG TIME with their mental health. When he isn't home, I'd check his room, his facebook and his cell phone that you probably pay for to see if there are signs that he is using drugs. If so, you have your reason why he is acting like this.Then you can make decisions about what YOU want to do about it, what boundaries to set. Also, since he is now an adult, you can't commit him. It's hard enough to do that even with a minor child. The person has to be an imminent threat to himself and others and can't be calmed down by the time they see him in ER. I have a friend who tried taking her son in after he had attacked her husband and they said, "Well, he's calm now" and sent him home. In fact, you have no control over the situation at all except to, the best of your ability, learn the truth about what is causing his odd behavior and to decide what you want to do about it while he lives in your house. I am hoping Recovering Enabler answers this post. She is so good at explaining detachment and how you still have a very separate life outside of your son and how you should enjoy your life even though your son is choosing to make darn sure he doesn't enjoy his. Yes, he is choosing it. Have you ever drug tested him? It's hardly a perfect test and drugs like spice will not show up. But you may be shocked at what you do find. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. I hope things get better very, very soon! [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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