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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="nlj" data-source="post: 623825" data-attributes="member: 17650"><p>Depression is an awful illness. My son has suffered with this since he was a teenager. I tried to help but, with hindsight, I wasn't helping at all. I know you think you are doing the best thing for him by taking care of him practically so that he doesn't need to do anything for himself. I was the same as you, it's a normal reponse from a mother to look after and protect her child. </p><p></p><p>But your child is no longer a child, just like mine, he's a grown man. If you weren't there to see to him then he wouldn't have a room to hide away in, not needing to even find food for himself. He would have to go out into the world and find a way to survive. The worst thing for depression is to sit in a room isolated from reality. I know this sounds harsh, but you know that it is true. All the things you have tried to do for him so far have not made him better. Maybe they have made him worse. I made my son worse by trying to solve all his problems. He had to find his own way in life and I was just getting in his way. My son is not great now, he is homeless and peniless because he just can't cope with living a 'normal' life and conforming to society's expectations. But he seems well mentally and he is managing and seems happy and I have accepted his choice to live like that, without supporting it or interfering, but just loving him as he is. You have to let your son find his own way, and that includes finding his own way out of this depression. He needs to get out of his room and get moving and you need to stop doing anything for him, because then you will be actually doing a whole lot for him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nlj, post: 623825, member: 17650"] Depression is an awful illness. My son has suffered with this since he was a teenager. I tried to help but, with hindsight, I wasn't helping at all. I know you think you are doing the best thing for him by taking care of him practically so that he doesn't need to do anything for himself. I was the same as you, it's a normal reponse from a mother to look after and protect her child. But your child is no longer a child, just like mine, he's a grown man. If you weren't there to see to him then he wouldn't have a room to hide away in, not needing to even find food for himself. He would have to go out into the world and find a way to survive. The worst thing for depression is to sit in a room isolated from reality. I know this sounds harsh, but you know that it is true. All the things you have tried to do for him so far have not made him better. Maybe they have made him worse. I made my son worse by trying to solve all his problems. He had to find his own way in life and I was just getting in his way. My son is not great now, he is homeless and peniless because he just can't cope with living a 'normal' life and conforming to society's expectations. But he seems well mentally and he is managing and seems happy and I have accepted his choice to live like that, without supporting it or interfering, but just loving him as he is. You have to let your son find his own way, and that includes finding his own way out of this depression. He needs to get out of his room and get moving and you need to stop doing anything for him, because then you will be actually doing a whole lot for him. [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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