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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663452" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You didn't do anything wrong and God isn't punishing you. You know He wouldn't. It is your son who is doing this to himself because he is making bad choices. Why? He wants to. It is not because of anything you did or did not do and a lot of very fine parents find themselves in our situations. Please, don't feel like this is on your shoulders. It isn't. </p><p>As for mental illness, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Depression is very treatable with the right medication. Often depression stays just a very bad mood problem (like with me) and does not progress to anything more, however depression is horrible and without medical treatment it can last for years or forever. The afflicted person must be proactive about his health or nobody can help.</p><p>I urge everyone here, whether believers in God or just believers that everything that happens to our adult kids is due to our own bad parenting, that very bad parents, who did not care about their children at all, often raise very nice, kind, successful adults (Dave Pelzer in "A Child Called It" never got into any trouble and tries to help other disturbed foster children) and some of the best, most loving parents are shocked to see self-destructive adult children.</p><p>Drugs and DNA are both at play in most cases. Both can be treated, but that is totally up to the adult child. After 18, parents just do not have any rights. That doesn't stop us from caring, but it also doesn't make what happened our faults. I personally think DNA is the biggest factor. If, as a young 'un, we had sex with a disturbed boy and broke up and our child has similar problems, for example, a great deal of that, I believe, is inherited. The DNA does not change just because the young father is no longer in the picture. Or we ourselves may have mental illness or addiction in our families and that can also be inherited (tendencies to addiction are inherited). </p><p>Hopefully, this depressed young man will finally want to get help. Until he does, he will probably stay ill, but that is not on his mother's shoulders.</p><p>Just my soapbox opinion. Moms, be good to yourselves. You have and are living in the trenches and surviving and learning how to survive even better. You are all heroes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663452, member: 1550"] You didn't do anything wrong and God isn't punishing you. You know He wouldn't. It is your son who is doing this to himself because he is making bad choices. Why? He wants to. It is not because of anything you did or did not do and a lot of very fine parents find themselves in our situations. Please, don't feel like this is on your shoulders. It isn't. As for mental illness, it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Depression is very treatable with the right medication. Often depression stays just a very bad mood problem (like with me) and does not progress to anything more, however depression is horrible and without medical treatment it can last for years or forever. The afflicted person must be proactive about his health or nobody can help. I urge everyone here, whether believers in God or just believers that everything that happens to our adult kids is due to our own bad parenting, that very bad parents, who did not care about their children at all, often raise very nice, kind, successful adults (Dave Pelzer in "A Child Called It" never got into any trouble and tries to help other disturbed foster children) and some of the best, most loving parents are shocked to see self-destructive adult children. Drugs and DNA are both at play in most cases. Both can be treated, but that is totally up to the adult child. After 18, parents just do not have any rights. That doesn't stop us from caring, but it also doesn't make what happened our faults. I personally think DNA is the biggest factor. If, as a young 'un, we had sex with a disturbed boy and broke up and our child has similar problems, for example, a great deal of that, I believe, is inherited. The DNA does not change just because the young father is no longer in the picture. Or we ourselves may have mental illness or addiction in our families and that can also be inherited (tendencies to addiction are inherited). Hopefully, this depressed young man will finally want to get help. Until he does, he will probably stay ill, but that is not on his mother's shoulders. Just my soapbox opinion. Moms, be good to yourselves. You have and are living in the trenches and surviving and learning how to survive even better. You are all heroes. [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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