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My dad has lung cancer
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 677802" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is my father, exactly. He wants to stay home and will not accept nursing care. My sister invited him to move in with her, because apparently he has been sick for a while but didn't tell me, and he refused. He won't live in an assisted care center or nursing home because he doesn't want to spend the money. For that matter, he doesn't even want a cleaning service, which he desperately needs. I hear his apartment is a mess. My brother has driven him to various assisted living places when he has been in town, but Dad just won't pay the money. Apparently he is calling Bro and Sis non-stop, but not me. He is thinking of me when I was maybe 20 years old and a hypochondriac and he thinks Iwill freak out if I hear the word "cancer." Heh. My BFF died of cancer and I was with her to the end. It gets so frustrating to be so misunderstood by FOO. I would like to help more, but he isn't letting me know anything. If he doesn't let me know anything I can only go by what my sister tells me and call then nursing station and recite what she tells me to say...I can't do anything else if he is shutting me out of his care. Truly, truly, I am not one of them, not even my father. But that's not important right now. Keeping him safe and as comfy as possible is what is important. If my father doesn't want me involved, it is his decision and I respect it. I will help my sister and brother in any way you ask of me. That is all I can do.</p><p></p><p>In our FOO fighting over wills and stuff like POA will not happen. I have no intention of ever fighting over a will. I think my dad has it divided in thirds. I will find out. Nobody is going to try to get him to sign everything over to one of them. For the most part, we just wish he'd spend some of our inheritance on HIMSELF. HE needs it.My brother is POA and I know he will do what is in my father's best interests. </p><p></p><p>It is good to talk to my sister again. Yes, I said it is good. There is some mistrust there, of course, but at least we are not causing my father further angst. I talked to Bart last night. He is me "go to" for good advice on how to handle things, such as my emotions and feelings. During his year of craziness in custody I forgot how clearly he thinks when he is not overly stressed and how intelligent he is. I trust him. He had good advice. Thank you, precious Bart.</p><p></p><p>Today I am going with hubby to see Jumper play basketball. Then we have football this weekend. With the Packers out of the picture, I say "Go Panthers!!!!!!!!!!!!"</p><p></p><p>Since my father has been sick for so long and has not told me, I am going to go on with my life, visit him sometime soon, but allow him to let my two siblings to take care of his needs. That is what he wants.</p><p></p><p>Off to the races...er basketball game. I will keep my phone on high. I expect, at any time, to get a very bad call that will make me cry until I have no more tears. But, with the info I have and his restrictions on my involvement, I am doing all that I can.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to all my friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 677802, member: 1550"] This is my father, exactly. He wants to stay home and will not accept nursing care. My sister invited him to move in with her, because apparently he has been sick for a while but didn't tell me, and he refused. He won't live in an assisted care center or nursing home because he doesn't want to spend the money. For that matter, he doesn't even want a cleaning service, which he desperately needs. I hear his apartment is a mess. My brother has driven him to various assisted living places when he has been in town, but Dad just won't pay the money. Apparently he is calling Bro and Sis non-stop, but not me. He is thinking of me when I was maybe 20 years old and a hypochondriac and he thinks Iwill freak out if I hear the word "cancer." Heh. My BFF died of cancer and I was with her to the end. It gets so frustrating to be so misunderstood by FOO. I would like to help more, but he isn't letting me know anything. If he doesn't let me know anything I can only go by what my sister tells me and call then nursing station and recite what she tells me to say...I can't do anything else if he is shutting me out of his care. Truly, truly, I am not one of them, not even my father. But that's not important right now. Keeping him safe and as comfy as possible is what is important. If my father doesn't want me involved, it is his decision and I respect it. I will help my sister and brother in any way you ask of me. That is all I can do. In our FOO fighting over wills and stuff like POA will not happen. I have no intention of ever fighting over a will. I think my dad has it divided in thirds. I will find out. Nobody is going to try to get him to sign everything over to one of them. For the most part, we just wish he'd spend some of our inheritance on HIMSELF. HE needs it.My brother is POA and I know he will do what is in my father's best interests. It is good to talk to my sister again. Yes, I said it is good. There is some mistrust there, of course, but at least we are not causing my father further angst. I talked to Bart last night. He is me "go to" for good advice on how to handle things, such as my emotions and feelings. During his year of craziness in custody I forgot how clearly he thinks when he is not overly stressed and how intelligent he is. I trust him. He had good advice. Thank you, precious Bart. Today I am going with hubby to see Jumper play basketball. Then we have football this weekend. With the Packers out of the picture, I say "Go Panthers!!!!!!!!!!!!" Since my father has been sick for so long and has not told me, I am going to go on with my life, visit him sometime soon, but allow him to let my two siblings to take care of his needs. That is what he wants. Off to the races...er basketball game. I will keep my phone on high. I expect, at any time, to get a very bad call that will make me cry until I have no more tears. But, with the info I have and his restrictions on my involvement, I am doing all that I can. Hugs to all my friends. [/QUOTE]
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My dad has lung cancer
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