my daughter 21 and stole macbook, bracelet , necklace & purses

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by nisha, Aug 9, 2018.

  1. nisha

    nisha New Member

    I have been paying my daughter school fee she's in her final year , paid her car. Now she stole macbook, bracelet, necklace and few my expensive purses and living with boyfriend . changed her no and i don't know their adress. I called boyfriend ask if he can tell her to return my stuff . he started urguing and tells me he is not going to say anything i have to figure out . I called police they said if i have adress they can go to their house with me . any suggestion :(
  2. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    Any friends who might know or documents it would be written on. Would her school have it since you are paying? Sorry she did that to you.
  3. nisha

    nisha New Member

    she used to live in a dorm we payed moved with boyfriend . don't know their adress. I know she's not in drug but i cant let her steal stuff . I will have to find out how to make her learn lesson
  4. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    How about having police go to her school to talk to her?
  5. nisha

    nisha New Member

    its summer break now
  6. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I would let the police visit her and report your items missing. Your daughter has not been living with you. You dont know if she has been using drugs or not .The boyfriend could be using drugs and introduced her to them or she could be stealing for his drug use. Stealing is a huge red flag for drug use, even if it was not an issue before. A new honey can mean new bad habits and behaviors.

    I would not pay a dime until she returned my things. Or gave me her addresd. Very disrespectful. Let her take out a loan. She has to learn right off that you do not tolerate stealing. From anyone. Under any circumstances. It is a crime and really vile to steal from your own mother. I would deal harshly and HAVE dealt harshly witn my own daughter and her bad behavior stopped.

    I assume Daughter is almost 21, no longer a child and should not be treated like one. Is this boyfriend another student? If not, have you met him?
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2018
  7. CareTooMuch

    CareTooMuch Active Member

    If you know this for a fact I would stop paying all of her bills including college.
  8. nisha

    nisha New Member

    i am not paying for anything anymore for sure. I don't know her boyfriend, never met him . want to make her lesson learn stealing is a big NO no matter what . trying to find how do i deal with it
  9. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Call boyfriend and tell him if it’s not returned in 24 hours you’re going to report the stuff stolen to the police and your insurance company and it will become a criminal investigation, and he will be an accomplice. If it’s not returned, follow through and report it stolen.
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  10. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I would have an extremely hard time with this problem. She's made it this far and is almost a college graduate. Only one year to go. I wouldn't want to jeopardize that. I teach high school. We really push kids to go to college and work very hard to make sure they are college ready by their senior year. I get that you're fed up. It sounds like your daughter takes you for granted. Once she has the degree, you can tell her she has no excuse not to be self sufficient. Right now she thinks she can justify stealing from you. Once she has the degree, she may still try to justify it. If her grades are good, and she's this close to graduation, I would go ahead and pay the tuition, then don't pay for anything ever again or allow her to be where she could steal from you. You can tell her that you spent a fortune on her tuition, and that is enough. You gave her the gift of a college education so that she could be self supporting. She is probably going to say she was borrowing the handbags, if she hasn't sold them on E-bay, that is. I'm sorry for how she takes advantage of you.
  11. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.

    I'm assuming these things were stolen from your home. Does your daughter have a key to your house? If she does, you might want to consider changing your locks.

    I would contact the police again and give them the boyfriends phone number. Perhaps they can reach out that way.
    You also might try looking at her and the boyfriends social media pages. You might be able to find some clues as to where they are, or some friends that you might be able to reach out to.

    Again, so sorry for this. My son has stolen from me many times and it's such a feeling of betrayal.

  12. nisha

    nisha New Member

    i don't have her phone no and boyfriend is rude still i called him this morning and left voice message if she can talk to us . trying to find their adress but no luck . its been 2 months . her car is paid , we took care of her all the bills even use to wash her car every time she comes home :(
  13. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Active Member

    "How sharper than a serpents tooth is the tongue of an ungrateful child". Shakespeare
    Apparently there have been kids like ours through the ages.
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