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My daughter wants to talk-Feeling horrible
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 754117" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Blindsided. </p><p>I’m so sorry for all the stress and worry you are under. </p><p></p><p>What I would try to ask myself in this situation is will your daughter respect, love and care for you more if you set her up in your 2nd home? Will you just be enabling her further? Will she destroy your home by bringing pets she will not discipline that may destroy your property? Will you have more peace in your soul if you take care of her?</p><p>I think you know the answer to these questions and that’s why to say yes to helping her in this way causes you so much stress. </p><p></p><p>It’s difficult because she’s sick but will you be self-destructive to yourself by getting all entwined in her constant drama and crisis? </p><p></p><p>I’ve only recently started to try to put myself first and ask myself who will be there for me if I get sick from all the stress, anxiety and worry? Who will be there for me if i use all my funds and can’t pay my own bills? I doubt my two sons would be. </p><p>For me right now detachment is all that’s keeping me sane. It hurts not to see my sons or know how they’re doing but I have to hope this is not forever. I think of it as a season in my life I have to go through. I can’t fix their problems anymore. Not sure I ever really did. On the surface paying rent and other bills etc did fix the outer shell of the problem but with the years that have passed neither of them has made any long term sustainable changes inwardly. </p><p>The hardest thing for most of us is how uncomfortable and sad we feel because for whatever our kids reasons are be it mental illness addiction or something else they just can’t seem to do much to improve their situation. </p><p></p><p>But they have to Be the ones to make the changes in their lives just as we have to do for ourselves. We know any other way is not anything that will last. </p><p>Sending hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 754117, member: 23405"] Blindsided. I’m so sorry for all the stress and worry you are under. What I would try to ask myself in this situation is will your daughter respect, love and care for you more if you set her up in your 2nd home? Will you just be enabling her further? Will she destroy your home by bringing pets she will not discipline that may destroy your property? Will you have more peace in your soul if you take care of her? I think you know the answer to these questions and that’s why to say yes to helping her in this way causes you so much stress. It’s difficult because she’s sick but will you be self-destructive to yourself by getting all entwined in her constant drama and crisis? I’ve only recently started to try to put myself first and ask myself who will be there for me if I get sick from all the stress, anxiety and worry? Who will be there for me if i use all my funds and can’t pay my own bills? I doubt my two sons would be. For me right now detachment is all that’s keeping me sane. It hurts not to see my sons or know how they’re doing but I have to hope this is not forever. I think of it as a season in my life I have to go through. I can’t fix their problems anymore. Not sure I ever really did. On the surface paying rent and other bills etc did fix the outer shell of the problem but with the years that have passed neither of them has made any long term sustainable changes inwardly. The hardest thing for most of us is how uncomfortable and sad we feel because for whatever our kids reasons are be it mental illness addiction or something else they just can’t seem to do much to improve their situation. But they have to Be the ones to make the changes in their lives just as we have to do for ourselves. We know any other way is not anything that will last. Sending hugs. [/QUOTE]
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My daughter wants to talk-Feeling horrible
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