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My daughter wants to talk-Feeling horrible
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 754134" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My community has a residence for ill homeless people with lots of support and care and community.</p><p></p><p>When I remembered about this residence, I thought about how it could be for your daughter if she allowed herself this: to be cared about and supported, in loving community of others in her same situation, and helped by compassionate staff.</p><p></p><p>I thought about how when we suffer our children who treat us badly without gratitude or regret, we stand in the way of good things for them. Like a residence such as this.</p><p></p><p>While most of us here don't much like the way our children have lived and continue to live, their lives are unfolding the way they are, as they live their purpose. Our help (often ambivalent and fearful) is often an obstacle. Your daughter has work to do. She is not just ill. She's not only an alcoholic. She's a soul.</p><p></p><p>We trigger our children as they trigger us. We seem to call forth their bitterness and negativity and passivity and dependence, their anger and even, their desire to exploit us. Just as they call out our own anger, frustration, obligation, bitterness, regret, blame, fear guilt and despair. When we invite them into our space more often than not this toxic brew causes everybody to regress.</p><p></p><p><em>Almost all of us here have the fantasy that our love and protection will heal or keep our adult child safe. It's just that, a fantasy. </em></p><p><em></em></p><p>I don't think you'd be helping your daughter by hurting yourself. But I very much understand why you would try. Numerous times I have done the same.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 754134, member: 18958"] My community has a residence for ill homeless people with lots of support and care and community. When I remembered about this residence, I thought about how it could be for your daughter if she allowed herself this: to be cared about and supported, in loving community of others in her same situation, and helped by compassionate staff. I thought about how when we suffer our children who treat us badly without gratitude or regret, we stand in the way of good things for them. Like a residence such as this. While most of us here don't much like the way our children have lived and continue to live, their lives are unfolding the way they are, as they live their purpose. Our help (often ambivalent and fearful) is often an obstacle. Your daughter has work to do. She is not just ill. She's not only an alcoholic. She's a soul. We trigger our children as they trigger us. We seem to call forth their bitterness and negativity and passivity and dependence, their anger and even, their desire to exploit us. Just as they call out our own anger, frustration, obligation, bitterness, regret, blame, fear guilt and despair. When we invite them into our space more often than not this toxic brew causes everybody to regress. [I]Almost all of us here have the fantasy that our love and protection will heal or keep our adult child safe. It's just that, a fantasy. [/I] I don't think you'd be helping your daughter by hurting yourself. But I very much understand why you would try. Numerous times I have done the same. [/QUOTE]
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My daughter wants to talk-Feeling horrible
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