Hello this is my second post. I wrote the post below that my son has oppositional defiant disorder except I called it operational defiant disorder by mistake in the post below.
My difficult child was staying with his father for the weekend. I have been working with a program I found online ( which was very expensive by the way). I just started the program a week ago. Part of the program is laying out a set of rules and consequences to be carried out. the program states that it is best to lay out the rules with your child but if they won't cooperate tell them you will follow through and then follow through. I made a list of rules a week ago. My difficult child has broken several of the rules so I had his cell phone turned off and I removed a few items of clothing from his closet that I purchased.
When I picked him up tongiht I thought that we could have a Civil conversation about the rules, etc. Well he told me to stop talking and I guess I should of but I was very calm and said that I thought it would be best if we did and he opened the car door and jumped out. Luckily I was going slowly since I just pulled out of my ex's driveway. I was scared though because my difficult child hit his back on the road when he jumped out.
Then my difficult child walked back to his Dad's. I heard my son yelling profanitites about me and then he broke down and cried in my ex's arms but stopped when I walked in. My difficult child hates me and all I am trying to do is help him. He
is in trouble with the law ( on probation), has been kicked off the basket ball team for disrespectfulness to the coach and is failing at school. He is very disrespectful to me and I am just so tired. I really am trying to do the best I can. My ex said he would drive him to school tomorrow morning. My difficult child goes to school in the town where I live which is 15 miles from his Dad's. I haven't seen my son cry in many many years so I am glad that he was able to let a few tears out but I am the enemy. My son really hates women and doens't have much respect for us.
I could blame this partly on my ex since he put me down to our son when I left my marriage. That was 10 yrs. ago and my ex told me back then that my son would hate me some day.
But I feel I have been making lots of mistakes. I have been trying to be the disciplinarian and his father hasn't been very much of one. Up until recently his father only saw him 4 days out of the month. Am I doing the right thing or am I being too hard. I just don't know anymore.
The only good thing that came out of tonight was that my difficult child broke down and cried. That really shows that he has emotions and I was afraid he had none.
I am so weary..I'm going to bed now....
My difficult child was staying with his father for the weekend. I have been working with a program I found online ( which was very expensive by the way). I just started the program a week ago. Part of the program is laying out a set of rules and consequences to be carried out. the program states that it is best to lay out the rules with your child but if they won't cooperate tell them you will follow through and then follow through. I made a list of rules a week ago. My difficult child has broken several of the rules so I had his cell phone turned off and I removed a few items of clothing from his closet that I purchased.
When I picked him up tongiht I thought that we could have a Civil conversation about the rules, etc. Well he told me to stop talking and I guess I should of but I was very calm and said that I thought it would be best if we did and he opened the car door and jumped out. Luckily I was going slowly since I just pulled out of my ex's driveway. I was scared though because my difficult child hit his back on the road when he jumped out.
Then my difficult child walked back to his Dad's. I heard my son yelling profanitites about me and then he broke down and cried in my ex's arms but stopped when I walked in. My difficult child hates me and all I am trying to do is help him. He
is in trouble with the law ( on probation), has been kicked off the basket ball team for disrespectfulness to the coach and is failing at school. He is very disrespectful to me and I am just so tired. I really am trying to do the best I can. My ex said he would drive him to school tomorrow morning. My difficult child goes to school in the town where I live which is 15 miles from his Dad's. I haven't seen my son cry in many many years so I am glad that he was able to let a few tears out but I am the enemy. My son really hates women and doens't have much respect for us.
I could blame this partly on my ex since he put me down to our son when I left my marriage. That was 10 yrs. ago and my ex told me back then that my son would hate me some day.
But I feel I have been making lots of mistakes. I have been trying to be the disciplinarian and his father hasn't been very much of one. Up until recently his father only saw him 4 days out of the month. Am I doing the right thing or am I being too hard. I just don't know anymore.
The only good thing that came out of tonight was that my difficult child broke down and cried. That really shows that he has emotions and I was afraid he had none.
I am so weary..I'm going to bed now....