My Parents

DaisyC1234

Member
Some of you know my story, so some may not. I have one daughter (26) and a set of enabling parents. My daughter has two girls, ages 3 and almost 2 months.

Over the years my parents have endured, to say the least, A LOT. My bother being on drugs and I think homeless at this point my daughter and her issues.

So last week my mom filed for divorce. She told me she was not happy and this isn't something that just happened. My dad was devastated and is having a difficult time but is managing. He may come and stay with us after their home sells. My mom already has a "New" friend and she'll be leaving to another state tomorrow, but will be back sometime in April when they purchase a home here.

Maybe it's for the better, I can't fault anyone for wanting to be happy, but it still hurts. I just hope my dad can find the same kind of happiness.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am sorry. This can upset us because we love our parents being together plus we don't want them hurt. The thing is, there is nothing we can do except be there. And you are doing that.

Big hugs!
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Ugh If I hear one more bad thing this holiday season I swear I'll burst.

I'm so sorry Daisy. I bet you feel blindsided by this news and of course you are concerned for your father! He is very blessed to have you as a daughter, that is for sure. I'm glad you can help him with this. Of course your parent's marriage is out of your control!

Yesterday my very good friend's nephew was found dead in his dorm - age 20 - at University of Wisconsin. Not drugs but think it was a heart infection. Not sure yet...
My nephew's partner of 35 years left him and moved out of state secretly/suddenly. He's devastated.

Heard this news yesterday.
 

DaisyC1234

Member
Today my mom is leaving to meet her new "friend" as they drive to another state. I thought it would be easy but it's not knowing things just won't be the same anymore. I am sure I will adjust to the new normal, but not today. Today is Cass's 18th birthday, so I gotta keep it together, then her party on Saturday, so I just gotta get through these next few days. I see my therapist tomorrow and I can't wait.

My daughter sent me an FB message and an email, saying she wanted to ask me something, I said I can't give her any money and I never received another message, so I guess I had answered her question. Im tired worrying about my granddaughters, I just wish she would get it together. Lately I've been worrying more about her not being able to care for the girls and I would have no problem stepping up, only I still work full-time and can't afford childcare for two kids and I will be retiring in 4 years. I'm going to try and not worry about that, it's stealing my here and now.
 

JayPee

Sending good vibes...
Daisy,

I'm sorry for your bad news about your parents. You don't sound like you are faulting either of them and that is good. They are grown adults and I'm sorry if your Dad is devastated but maybe he did see it coming but refused to acknowledge it. Your Dad will get through this but these things take time to heal. It's not usually a quick recovery and everyone gets through it at their own pace and depending on their own mental health and well being. Be there to support him and listen to him and that will be the biggest help you can do.

You mention your parents were enablers of your own daughter. I am a recovering enabler and often times we "stuff" our problems and feelings by trying to fix everyone else's lives. Maybe that's a little of what was going on there.

I was married 30 yrs. to an alcoholic and divorced 2 yrs. ago. All through my two sons (30 & 26) lives I enabled them because to some degree I hurt so bad that I wanted at least them to be and feel better. and/or makeup for the difficulties they went through with an alcoholic father. That doesn't work. I've found out the hard way. I am on my own path to recovery which at first felt selfish. My sons are homeless and unable to take care of themselves. I tried to the tune of thousands of dollars to rescue them and help them get on their feet but so far to no avail. My ex-husband has spent the last 2 yrs. in and out of hospitals and recovery centers and now has psychological issues. We have to turn them over to God and the sooner we realize that the better.

Sending hugs during this difficult time...
 

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry, Daisy. Sending understanding hugs. Hope your dad is able to make peace with your mom's decision and move on happily.
 
Top