My son is autistic but he’s 20 yrs old

Cindydarling

New Member
Today his room smelled bad and I was wondering well he showers daily so I didn’t understand, I have to help him to take a shower turning the shower on getting the sponge putting the shampoo over his head pretty much like if he was a 2 year old well turns out the smell came from not wiping his butt I was so mad it took me a while to get the poop clumps from his ass even had to get some scissors to cut some pubic hairs with poop out of his ass and you can imagine I got my fingers with poop too sooo disgusting I mean I raise two little girls I take care of my oldest daughter too and was always helping him but not to clean his ass that’s so nasty I’m ready to give up on him I’m literally in tears so frustrated what can I do to prevent this from happening again I told him to wipe his ass but he got mad so I told him I better not see poop on his ass or he’ll be grounded this was the last straw I’m always doing everything for him the only thing he does on his own well go no 1 and dress himself but everything else I do it for him he will be 21 yrs old in January and I feel he’s going backwards
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
Would he use wet wipes? Would taking a bath clean that area better than a shower?

I'm sure this is very frustrating for you. Does he attend any classes or have a case worker who might discuss this with him? Has he always had this problem? Ksm
 

Cindydarling

New Member
Would he use wet wipes? Would taking a bath clean that area better than a shower?

I'm sure this is very frustrating for you. Does he attend any classes or have a case worker who might discuss this with him? Has he always had this problem? Ksm
No it’s been the first time he’s done this ever so I keep telling him when he goes to no 2 not to forget to wipe his butt he has Theraphy but honestly I think he needs medication I’ve been hesitating to put him on pills but instead of improving it seems he’s going backwards and that’s not good I’m going to set up an appointment with a psychiatrist because this is something he’s never done although I have observed that some days he seems lost and others he’s more connected so maybe it’s a neurological issue maybe call a neurologist too but he definitely needs to be medicated , thank you for your concerns , I will take care of this tomorrow and yes he takes classes on line because of the pandemia
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I'm wondering if he can live somewhere that can care for him? I know some nursing homes do but he is still young. There must be places for disabled younger adults too. Does he has a case manager and get Social Security? If not, he would qualify.

You can't take care of him his whole life and he will need a place that can help him. He may like the idea of moving out.

I am not at all sure that a psychiatrist can help somebody with autism since they don't communicate well.

I wish you luck and send prayers.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
Hopefully, since its a new problem, it can be reversed. And if medication might help, the psychiatrist could prescribe it.

Is there any possibility that he might have been sexually abused before this started? Other parents have made a connection between trauma and regression. Once, someone posted about their daughter wanted pull ups, because a classmate had them... i wish wr couold understand their thought process. Hope you find answers. Ksm
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Prayers for you and your son. This must be so very hard but you've gotten some great advice and support.
 

Barbaro

New Member
Today his room smelled bad and I was wondering well he showers daily so I didn’t understand, I have to help him to take a shower turning the shower on getting the sponge putting the shampoo over his head pretty much like if he was a 2 year old well turns out the smell came from not wiping his butt I was so mad it took me a while to get the poop clumps from his ass even had to get some scissors to cut some pubic hairs with poop out of his ass and you can imagine I got my fingers with poop too sooo disgusting I mean I raise two little girls I take care of my oldest daughter too and was always helping him but not to clean his ass that’s so nasty I’m ready to give up on him I’m literally in tears so frustrated what can I do to prevent this from happening again I told him to wipe his ass but he got mad so I told him I better not see poop on his ass or he’ll be grounded this was the last straw I’m always doing everything for him the only thing he does on his own well go no 1 and dress himself but everything else I do it for him he will be 21 yrs old in January and I feel he’s going backwards
My daughter started using wet wipes .... they worked for her. You can get ones that are flushable.
 
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