So he has been home for a week. He got out early on parole! Things are actually going pretty well. Right now he is sober because he is on parole and does not want to take any chances (they drug test him). He is only on parole until dec 19 so we shall see how things are after that. He was cagey for a bit about who he was seeing which made me nervous. I finally talked to him about it and he is seeing his old girlfriend. He didn't want to tell me because he knew I would not like it. But I am keeping my mouth shut and I have now seen her and it is fine between her and I. In some ways she is a positive influence I think but if things get bad again between them then it will not be good. I am in a very different place. He has not lived at home since he was 18 and he is now 25. He really is an adult and I have no responsibility for him. So I am in no way trying to control what he does. Clearly if he steals from us, gets really disrespectful to does anything illegal in our home he is out. He knows that. We are letting him use the car but I have said if there is any hint of drug or alcohol use while driving then no more and no second chances. But it is actually nice right now having him home. And I feel my role is different than in the past. At this point we are just there to give him support and some stability as he tries to get on his feet. He is looking for a job and is going out now for his 3rd interview. At this point i want no part in policing him. Clearly he needs to be respectful, and treat us well which at least so far he is doing.