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General Parenting
NC: What ARE my options??
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<blockquote data-quote="mrsammler" data-source="post: 431041"><p>You are in EXACTLY the position my sister was in (she lives in NC too) 2 years ago. NC is a terrible state wrt providing legal recourse if you have a violent, unruly teen difficult child in the house. My sister flew me in and I stayed in her home, protecting her and her younger son and their property from her teen difficult child until he turned 18.</p><p></p><p>Here's what you do: if you have a brother or cousin or strong man in your family who will help for a couple of hours, have him come over and yes, remove everything from difficult child's room but the bare necessities. Lock it all up and don't give any of it back to her until she starts to follow rules. (Don't expect her to, though--she'll just rage endlessly, but we'll get to that in a moment.) Before your brother/uncle/cousin leaves, tell difficult child that if there's any violence or menacing or anything like that, you'll call the police and press charges. And YES, you can press charges against a 16-year-old just as you can an adult. You won't want to, but let me be very clear: if you don't, this will never end and your life will be a living hell. Press charges and/or let the cops take her away for a 72-hour psychiatric evaluation, which they can do if she's a danger to herself or others (and if she's behaving violently toward you, she qualifies). That'll get her out of your house for 3 days. When she comes back, tell her that you'll do it again, in minutes, if she goes violent again. And BACK IT UP. If you threaten a consequence, don't ever fail to enact it if she tests you.</p><p></p><p>For every crime she commits, call the police and press charges. Eventually the cops will "get it" and work with you by docketing her court appearances as far in the future as possible, and if you don't bail her out, she'll have to remain in jail until the court appearance. This sounds cruel, but it's the ONLY way to get some freedom from a teen difficult child who's violently out of control, unless you can do what my sister did and "recruit" a male adult family member who has the time and the inclination to come in and play "bouncer" for you. </p><p></p><p>But DO NOT just endure it meekly. If you must, call the police repeatedly and seek 72-hour evaluations repeatedly, and/or having her jailed until court appearances. She'll rage and hate you and all of that, but so what? She's marauding you and destroying her life: lock her up. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry, but in NC, this is all that you can do. Believe me, I know: I've been there, in exactly the circumstance that you describe, as "bouncer." Good luck....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mrsammler, post: 431041"] You are in EXACTLY the position my sister was in (she lives in NC too) 2 years ago. NC is a terrible state wrt providing legal recourse if you have a violent, unruly teen difficult child in the house. My sister flew me in and I stayed in her home, protecting her and her younger son and their property from her teen difficult child until he turned 18. Here's what you do: if you have a brother or cousin or strong man in your family who will help for a couple of hours, have him come over and yes, remove everything from difficult child's room but the bare necessities. Lock it all up and don't give any of it back to her until she starts to follow rules. (Don't expect her to, though--she'll just rage endlessly, but we'll get to that in a moment.) Before your brother/uncle/cousin leaves, tell difficult child that if there's any violence or menacing or anything like that, you'll call the police and press charges. And YES, you can press charges against a 16-year-old just as you can an adult. You won't want to, but let me be very clear: if you don't, this will never end and your life will be a living hell. Press charges and/or let the cops take her away for a 72-hour psychiatric evaluation, which they can do if she's a danger to herself or others (and if she's behaving violently toward you, she qualifies). That'll get her out of your house for 3 days. When she comes back, tell her that you'll do it again, in minutes, if she goes violent again. And BACK IT UP. If you threaten a consequence, don't ever fail to enact it if she tests you. For every crime she commits, call the police and press charges. Eventually the cops will "get it" and work with you by docketing her court appearances as far in the future as possible, and if you don't bail her out, she'll have to remain in jail until the court appearance. This sounds cruel, but it's the ONLY way to get some freedom from a teen difficult child who's violently out of control, unless you can do what my sister did and "recruit" a male adult family member who has the time and the inclination to come in and play "bouncer" for you. But DO NOT just endure it meekly. If you must, call the police repeatedly and seek 72-hour evaluations repeatedly, and/or having her jailed until court appearances. She'll rage and hate you and all of that, but so what? She's marauding you and destroying her life: lock her up. I'm sorry, but in NC, this is all that you can do. Believe me, I know: I've been there, in exactly the circumstance that you describe, as "bouncer." Good luck.... [/QUOTE]
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