For those of you that don't remember I have a 26-year-old son, whom we adopted at 5 days old, has been in and out of trouble since he was about 15. He ran away A LOT when he was young, got in trouble with the law numerous times. We had him in two different residential treatment facilities 3 different times. He has been diagnosed with ADD, bipolar and I think he has borderline personality disorder. He also has use(d) meth but I am unsure how long, how much but it wouldn’t surprise me if he is addicted. When he was just a little older, he was imprisoned on 2 separate occasions. His father and I have set him up with a place both times out of prison. He never paid for rent or utilities. About two years ago we paid for training for him. He got a lot of jobs after that but has never able to keep them. The issue at hand is I just got a call from his birthfather. I have only talked to him one time in my life. I knew my son had been in contact with him off and on the last few years. His birthfather wanted to know what was going on with him (left voice mail). He said that he and his mother (that got to me) were worried. My son is currently in jail awaiting trial for a crime that he could go to prison for, for a long time. In the past I have not told his birthparents (they are not together) anything without asking my son first and then I have not given them any information more than what he gave me permission to do. I figured it was his relationship to make or break and I did not want to be the one to mess that up. The problem is that I know that at some point he has told them stories about my husband and I making us look bad so that they will feel sorry for him, give him money- whatever. I used to talk on occasion to his birthmother, but she is pissed off at us. One of the reasons she is pissed off at us is that when he was in 5th grade she contacted us and wanted to see him. We asked our son if he wanted to see her and he was not interested. This was at point in his life when he didn’t want to be adopted. We told her this and that we were sure in the future he would like to see her but now is not the time. She ended up contacting him on Facebook (he was 15) and he went to see her on one of his runs. I spoke with her and she lied to me that she even knew where he was. Who does that to a desperate parent? My son told her that we had not told him that she wanted to see him and didn’t show him the things that she sent. This was not true. He had all her letters and pictures in a drawer in his room. They have many of the same personality traits. The question is should I tell his birthparents all that is, has happened with him? They know almost nothing about his life, or do I just tell him what my son wants them to know? I would love to know what he tells them about us. My son has been pretty respectful of his father and me for a while now and always says he loves me after the conversation is ended. I just really wonder how much this is all BS on his part. I know he is very confused and troubled person.