My mother is now on hospice. I spend a great deal of time at her home doing what I can during this time. I am surprised at the amount of anger I am feeling. This is the only place I feel comfortable talking about this. My mother was a closet alcoholic for many years. Growing up my father was painted to be the raging drunk. He was the cause of all of her/our problems. In truth it was our mother who was a raging lunatic that made his/our life a living hell. He would take it for so long and then leave the house for a few hours. This would be greated with screaming and her physically attacking him. He stayed to protect us. Mother always presented herself as the victim. The community bought it. I feel like I was robbed of having a relationship with my father. She would not allow any of us to spend anytime with him without her being present. When my father was dying from complications of Parkinson's, she was so impatient for him to die, that she called a meeting with his medical staff suggesting that it was time to withhold life sustaining treatment. When it was pointed out that he was able to indicate his own wishes on the matter, she became livid. I realize that being in her 90's comes with it's own health challenges, but many of her health issues are a direct result of years of alcohol abuse. She is insisting that we tell anyone who asks that it is heart related. I can't do that so I don't say anything. Her heart is actually in better shape than people in their 40's. I just needed to vent. Thanks for "listening".