Nancy, mine is a bit more interesting. Although I can't know exactly what was in my dead mother's mind, I do know one incident that infuriated her. It was me sticking up for my two adopted kids.
My grandmother played favorites all her life. I was a favorite and usually she didn't try to get on my bad side, but from her grave, she was determined to give a certain small amount of money to one of her grandchildren only....my biological son. She wanted to make sure the others didn't get any of it. She had told me about it before her passing and I told her I would not cooperate, not even give her Bart's social security number. So after she passed, it fell upon my mother to hold it for Bart until he was 18. Now I guess sh e had to pay a very small tax on this m oney and didn't want to so she started calling Bart telling him she needed his social security number, but he didn't know it and told her so. She called him a liar. He came downstairs upset and said, "Grandma called" (that alone was a shock. She hadn't seen him for years and my mother had NO interest in any of MY children, him included. She never called him). Bart then told me that she called him a liar because he didn't know his social security number. Now I was NOT a perfect mother...nobody is....but I did not call my kids names, such as liar, so it was very hurtful to him. And I know how hurtful my mother could sound.
I was furious that she tried calling my son, who was then maybe 15 so that she could put this money in his name and not pay the tax on it. This is not something I know first hand (about the logistics of the money) so it is what I thought I'd heard about why she was so against having it in her name. Why spend an extra $100 on her grandson, whom she didn't care about, just to satisfy a dead woman's wish to make two of his siblings feel like they didn't belong? My grandmother, who never held back, often told me, "Bart is BLOOD. So I'm leaving him the money only."
My mother could not disregard her rather abusive (to her) mother's wishes, even when she was dead. So she had to deal with the money, since her smarter brother wouldn't touch this hot potato. She cared more about her dead mother's attempt to play favorites from the grave than to just let it go and admit it was the wrong thing to do. Well, apparently she didn't think it was the wrong thing to do as she did the same thing, but as mean as I knew my mother could be, I was surprised at her passion that my biological son be the one to get all of this small amount of money.
I was very upset after she contacted Bart so I told my husband, who was then my fiance, to call her back and tell her not to call again. Although I knew it would infuriate her that he do this, I thought she'd listen to him, even if sh e would not necessarily listen to me. So he called and she listened and she never forgave me for protecting my kids nor for allowing my fiance to "abuse" her. Oh, I doubt she used the word abuse, but she was very rageful that my now husband made the call instead of me. She never did come to our wedding because my husband was so mean to her (her interpretation of a short reprimand.) I did not miss her at our wedding. THAT did not really impact me.
by the way, I have told Bart many times about this and he thinks I did the right thing. He is also very smart and has asked, on his own, "Why did she even want to be a part of this? It's not like I was important to her."
At any rate, my mother totally dropped me after this incident although I tried very hard to call her and make things right while both of us were still on this earth. My spiritual beliefs are that it is best to work it out on earth or you will have to do it afterward. Guess we'll have to do it afterward.
That was the final straw to her, I believe. I did not respect her dead mother's hurtful wishes.
Even before it happened to me, I could feel the shame of my two other children at the thought of being disinherited by their grandmother, who DID have a relationship with her. It wasn't happening on my watch.
Eventually Mother did mail me the check and we used it on all of the kids, without telling them about it. Bart is the only one who knows. If Princess knew, she is so sensitive, she would have brought it up to me and cried. Goneboy is gone so he no longer ever speaks to Bart.
To this day I am not sorry I took a hard stand there. I chose my kids over my mother, which I feel was right. But I paid a price for it. It is hurtful to be disinherited for any reason. She shunned and disinherited me out of spite. There was no other reason. But it still hurt. Everyone wants their mother's love. Disinheriting means nothing but disapproval and disdain and no sane person will likely interpret it in any good way. And it is not about the amount of money. It is about the representation of what the deed meant. Oh, she had SOME money, but that really wasn't the point. It wasn't a lot.
I never even got to see her things to pick out any memories that may have happened before she totally decided I was incorrigible, like pictures she may have had. I was just left out, like I didn't exist.
In many ways, my experience with my mother, minus the physical abuse, resonated with me when I saw the movie "Mommie Dearest." Especially the will, although I doubt I was even mentioned in the will. I never saw any will. Nobody brought it up to me. Nobody said, "Um, you were disinherited." I am glad I never saw it. If there was an obit, bet myself and my kids were also left off. I have no interest in digging up these things.
So that's my story from my perspective. It may not be 100% factual, but I feel a lot of it was. She and I will discuss it in another world one day.