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New here: Adult son steals, plus more...
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<blockquote data-quote="SadAndStressed4TooLong" data-source="post: 645967" data-attributes="member: 18714"><p>Hi:</p><p></p><p>He's not on the spectrum at all. When he was 16 and had his first real job he was very responsible. He owned his own car, paid for his own car insurance and gas, and always showed up at work when he was scheduled.</p><p></p><p>It was during his last year or so of high school, and then even more when he started college (he lived at home and commuted to a state college). We found out that he wasn't even going to classes. He'd leave the house in the morning and then return after we'd left for work. It wasn't until his report cards were mailed here that we found out about it. This is when he started drinking heavily, smoking pot, and I don't know what else.</p><p></p><p>He did all of those things out of our house; I had no clue. When he came home he was never drunk or inebriated or anything. He did become very sullen and defensive and just didn't seem happy. He was not, and never has been combative or abusive or anything like that, even to this day.</p><p></p><p>After his first suicide attempt he saw a therapist for "major depressive disorder" which was accurate, but only the tip of the iceberg of what his problems were/are.</p><p></p><p>Sept 2008-June 2009 was rough; he had a girl friend who was a major enabler and also did drugs and drinking with her. In Dec 2008 he moved in with his girlfriend and her mother. He moved because it was the one and only time that my son spoke to me disrespectfully. He wasn't going to his out-patient program and when I asked him what he was going to do about all of his issues, he replied "I'm going to sit on my <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> until I die". I told him "You will not be doing that in front of me; don't come home until you get your act together". This was over the phone.</p><p></p><p>So......he called me crying in June (2009) and asked me if he could come over to the house and if I could take him to the emergency room because he felt like harming himself. I told him yes that I would do that.</p><p></p><p>He was in the hospital in the mental health ward for less than a week. They discharged him with a long list of medications and told him that his former therapist did not want to see him anymore, and that he should find someone new. They gave him a list of therapists to call.</p><p></p><p>For the next month he was moved back in with us (he broke up for good with his girlfriend while he was in the hospital). I thought it was crazy all of the medications they gave him to take, and no one to oversee them.</p><p></p><p>Less than a month later, completely out of the blue (he seemed "normal" during this time period) I came home on a Friday afternoon from work and found him almost dead from an overdose. He had broken in to husband's locked office where we kept our prescription drugs, and took every one of them. I called 911 and followed the ambulance to the hospital. They brought us (my husband met me there) to the "little room" and I almost lost it, thinking this is where they tell people the worst news. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>Oh geez this is getting too long. I will continue later or tomorrow ok? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>I do want to say that I am his Rep Payee; he doesn't have direct access to his money, or he'd spend it on food, Magic cards, friends, pot. Food would be junk food; Dominos pizza, etc even though he eats his 3 meals here with us. He gets money for pot by selling off his "good" Magic cards that he wins when he plays at the game store and Magic tournaments.</p><p></p><p>He has also stolen from us and sold/pawned the items for money which I assume he spent on all of the above. When pressed, he fully confesses to having stolen the items. I don't usually realize right away when things are missing.</p><p></p><p>He also "steals" food in the middle of the night; he eats food in the house that either isn't his or is being saved for another meal, or finishes off the ice cream or cake, etc. He has stopped stealing food for the most part but that was after many times. </p><p></p><p>He seems to lack impulse control, and thought of consequences. Like I said, he admits it when asked, and says he doesn't know why he does something when he knows he will just get in trouble for it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SadAndStressed4TooLong, post: 645967, member: 18714"] Hi: He's not on the spectrum at all. When he was 16 and had his first real job he was very responsible. He owned his own car, paid for his own car insurance and gas, and always showed up at work when he was scheduled. It was during his last year or so of high school, and then even more when he started college (he lived at home and commuted to a state college). We found out that he wasn't even going to classes. He'd leave the house in the morning and then return after we'd left for work. It wasn't until his report cards were mailed here that we found out about it. This is when he started drinking heavily, smoking pot, and I don't know what else. He did all of those things out of our house; I had no clue. When he came home he was never drunk or inebriated or anything. He did become very sullen and defensive and just didn't seem happy. He was not, and never has been combative or abusive or anything like that, even to this day. After his first suicide attempt he saw a therapist for "major depressive disorder" which was accurate, but only the tip of the iceberg of what his problems were/are. Sept 2008-June 2009 was rough; he had a girl friend who was a major enabler and also did drugs and drinking with her. In Dec 2008 he moved in with his girlfriend and her mother. He moved because it was the one and only time that my son spoke to me disrespectfully. He wasn't going to his out-patient program and when I asked him what he was going to do about all of his issues, he replied "I'm going to sit on my :censored2: until I die". I told him "You will not be doing that in front of me; don't come home until you get your act together". This was over the phone. So......he called me crying in June (2009) and asked me if he could come over to the house and if I could take him to the emergency room because he felt like harming himself. I told him yes that I would do that. He was in the hospital in the mental health ward for less than a week. They discharged him with a long list of medications and told him that his former therapist did not want to see him anymore, and that he should find someone new. They gave him a list of therapists to call. For the next month he was moved back in with us (he broke up for good with his girlfriend while he was in the hospital). I thought it was crazy all of the medications they gave him to take, and no one to oversee them. Less than a month later, completely out of the blue (he seemed "normal" during this time period) I came home on a Friday afternoon from work and found him almost dead from an overdose. He had broken in to husband's locked office where we kept our prescription drugs, and took every one of them. I called 911 and followed the ambulance to the hospital. They brought us (my husband met me there) to the "little room" and I almost lost it, thinking this is where they tell people the worst news. :( Oh geez this is getting too long. I will continue later or tomorrow ok? :( I do want to say that I am his Rep Payee; he doesn't have direct access to his money, or he'd spend it on food, Magic cards, friends, pot. Food would be junk food; Dominos pizza, etc even though he eats his 3 meals here with us. He gets money for pot by selling off his "good" Magic cards that he wins when he plays at the game store and Magic tournaments. He has also stolen from us and sold/pawned the items for money which I assume he spent on all of the above. When pressed, he fully confesses to having stolen the items. I don't usually realize right away when things are missing. He also "steals" food in the middle of the night; he eats food in the house that either isn't his or is being saved for another meal, or finishes off the ice cream or cake, etc. He has stopped stealing food for the most part but that was after many times. He seems to lack impulse control, and thought of consequences. Like I said, he admits it when asked, and says he doesn't know why he does something when he knows he will just get in trouble for it. [/QUOTE]
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