Stumbled across this forum and happy to be here. My husband and I have three kids in their 20’s, a daughter and two sons. Also have four young grandkids who we are crazy about. Our daughter is our oldest and she’s been extremely challenging since she was very young. As a teenager she spent about 2.5 years in what amounted to adolescent prison for a multitude of shoplifting charges, assault, running away twice, and drug possession. While incarcerated she was diagnosed with ODD and ADD. A therapist once seemed pretty convinced she has a personality disorder. She completed high school while locked up and after release went to college near where we live and eventually graduated. Things seemed fine for awhile but then the lying, shoplifting, and the seeming inability to get along with anyone ramped up again. Ended up in several auto accidents and has at least one DUI. Has a history of volatile relationships with men. Fast forward to current, she is married to a recovered (white knuckles it, never received actual treatment) drug addict, has two stepkids, and they have two kids together. Her marriage tends to be what she has described as a hot mess and there’s almost constant drama. We barely have a relationship with her and it’s holding on by a thread and if she didn’t have children I’m sure we’d be permanently estranged by now. The grandkids are the only thing keeping the lines of communication barely open. As recent as a week ago she essentially stole from me again and it would appear she has little to no empathy for much of anyone but herself. There are so many things I could describe but it would take forever. To be frank, I love her but I don’t like her at all and her father feels the same way. I’ve felt guilty about that for a long time but it is what it is. We are not perfect parents by any means and I know there’s things we could have done better. She and her brothers have no relationship but she isn’t entirely to blame for that. Our sons are not saints but they do not experience the same issues she does. Our sons both resent us for all the time their sister took up when they were kids and I can’t say I blame them. Things between us and all three of our kids are not in the best place right now and we all hold some blame for that. There are days when I wish we’d not had children and then feel terrible about feeling that way. I’m just so mentally exhausted from all of it. Almost 30 years of an uphill battle is how it feels. Our daughter has cut us all off yet again and some days I hope she doesn’t reach out again. I live day to day with the fear her marriage will end and she’ll want to move home. Her behavior hasn’t changed from when she was a kid and it really just morphed into a more manipulative version of the same. I don’t even wonder anymore if this will ever get better because I’m convinced it won’t. Her father isn’t as convinced of that but he’s not too far behind me. When she recently lied to us and refused to pay me back several hundred dollars despite having more than enough money to do so, something just broke inside me; I think mostly the motivation to keep trying to have a relationship with her. But, our grandkids. For the record it isn’t so much the money but the overwhelming lack of respect and regard pisses me off more than anything. But it doesn’t surprise me at all. If you made it this far, thanks for listening (reading).