New Member...long road

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Kat, Ihope you stick around for a long time :)

I don't usually think about this anymore. And it's so much more than this attempt at slander. After my father passed, it swelled up, but it will go away again soon when everything is done. I know who I really am. My family gave me many false labels that I once believed, but I don't anymore.

I am sad and embarrassed that I can still get worked up over these things, but it is just another learning curb of this life.

"This too shall pass."

I think you are a very insightful mother and a strong person.
 

GStorm

Becoming Independent
Thank you both SomewhereOutThere and GStorm for the response and support. What struck me is how you both said "abuse". I have never realized this. I knew it felt demeaning and scary (after all I have done for this kid lol) but didn't put it together with being abusive and that I deserve both "peace: and solitude" as you both said.

This morning I was losing my courage (it's cold out...I will take him closer to warm weather....I still have to call shelter and that opens at 10am and that's what time I start work...(although my boss has given me freedom to take any day I need to do this.). Your words and feeling the sun shining behind me as I write (plus I have a friend willing to help me today take him) is helping me move an inch forward.

I wrote out the pros and cons last night and this is what I realized....if I take him he may have opportunity (if he chooses the path presented him); I will have relief (he won't die inside my home) yet there still will be feelings of loss and fear or.....I can go on with this fantasy that is actually an unhealthy/hateful dependency which leaves him stuck in bed and no opportunity to grow. I love my son and want a life for him and have tried everything. This appears to be the last outstretched hand of opportunity. I am scared but i know it is the right thing. Thank you so much for listening.
I hope all went well, Kat. We have to open our hand to let go, so we can release them and be open to God's new blessings..."They are new every morning." I'm glad your boss & friend are being supportive for you during this difficult time. You are getting stronger every day! Keeping you in my prayers! (((HUGS))))
G Storm
 

kat913

New Member
I hope all went well, Kat. We have to open our hand to let go, so we can release them and be open to God's new blessings..."They are new every morning." I'm glad your boss & friend are being supportive for you during this difficult time. You are getting stronger every day! Keeping you in my prayers! (((HUGS))))
G Storm
Thanks GStorm but I have become very weakened. Seems my son may be schizophrenic. If I had an inkling before he turned 20....perhaps I could have gotten the right path for him....but as we all know...we do the best we could with the info we had.

Now I don't know what to do ....other than I know shizophrenics can be violent (I already know a story in my town where a loving mother was stabbed to death by her adult son.)

I really don't know what to do...he has nowhere to go. I called the hospital he had been at and laid it out in a VM stating that if they had an inkling he was schizophrenic (and there is no longer a release for them to speak with me) then both myself and my other son are in danger. They never called me today so I guess they can't help unless he wants it. His psychiatrist saw him on an emergency basis yesterday (he went by himself) and later on i caught up with her because she keeps treating the symptoms (she is so adamant it is Bipolar Disorder for the past 17 yrs.) I tried to have her open her mind a bit to all that has been going on and I know she was very baffled by his behavior and will see him in a month or sooner if needed (since i have always been going with him,she has no problem still speaking with me....I just had to go to work....couldn't let his problems interfere again.)

If he is Schizophrenic or Schizo-Affective....what do I do with him?? The police will not help (unless he is suicidal...which he knows to say no....or threatens me and take him to jail but in this town you have to evict your adult child legally thru court. So, he has every right to come home....even the police were encouraging him "Buddy...don't you just want to go in and go to sleep".

So, today I am very discouraged and lost my strength and the only idea I was given by a friend was if he threatens in anyway, call the MH crisis line...they have a crisis team and perhaps that would get him what he needs....some longterm help and proper diagnosis and peace and restoration for me.
 

GStorm

Becoming Independent
I think getting in touch with the MH crisis line is a good idea. You are concerned about him getting the correct care, as any mother would be. It is important to take care of yourself.
 

recoveringenabler

Well-Known Member
Staff member
It's understandable that you would be highly concerned. But before you scare yourself into believing you have no choices, take a step back.

I have a schizophrenic brother and a sister who has struggled with bi-polar/schizoaffective disorder. My understanding is that bi-polar can be misdiagnosed when it is really schizoaffective disorder, it is not an exact science by any means. Both my siblings have taken medications and not taken medications. Both have been on their own for their entire adult lives. My brother is on disability and lives in a room in L.A. My sister managed to get her Masters degree in Fine Art and become a successful artist, all the time dealing with various, serious mental illnesses.

I think this may take you a bit of time to work thru your options and come up with what will work for you. NAMI has a helpline open M-F, perhaps reaching out to them for guidance would be helpful. With a strong commitment and time, I believe you will find options, but you will need to be open to possibilities .....keep exploring........and most importantly make yourself and what you need and desire the priority, that shift alone will offer you a much more open field of possibilities.

Hang in there. Take care of YOU. Get support for YOU. That's the key.
 

kat913

New Member
It's understandable that you would be highly concerned. But before you scare yourself into believing you have no choices, take a step back.

I have a schizophrenic brother and a sister who has struggled with bi-polar/schizoaffective disorder. My understanding is that bi-polar can be misdiagnosed when it is really schizoaffective disorder, it is not an exact science by any means. Both my siblings have taken medications and not taken medications. Both have been on their own for their entire adult lives. My brother is on disability and lives in a room in L.A. My sister managed to get her Masters degree in Fine Art and become a successful artist, all the time dealing with various, serious mental illnesses.

I think this may take you a bit of time to work thru your options and come up with what will work for you. NAMI has a helpline open M-F, perhaps reaching out to them for guidance would be helpful. With a strong commitment and time, I believe you will find options, but you will need to be open to possibilities .....keep exploring........and most importantly make yourself and what you need and desire the priority, that shift alone will offer you a much more open field of possibilities.

Hang in there. Take care of YOU. Get support for YOU. That's the key.
Thanks so much....:)
 
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