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<blockquote data-quote="Waitingforamiracle" data-source="post: 759387" data-attributes="member: 25449"><p>My son (24) has cut us off since August of this year. He did it before but came back to us at the start of the pandemic, as we have a separate building he can stay in. My situation is like yours except he has (AFAIK) no addiction issues and lives very cleanly on the whole. He displays all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder with narcissistic traits, although sometimes I think he fakes the whole thing just to wind us up, as he is very very manipulative and always has been. After another glass-smashing and verbal abuse incident I finally had enough and politely asked him to leave to stay in a hotel for a few days as a 'time out'. He created a memorable scene and we called the police, he left and since then nothing. Though we are able to see a few posts he puts on social media, so I believe he is OK and has some kind of accommodation. </p><p>I got myself a rescue dog and pour all my excess care and love into her. It really helps, and I also reflect on the fact that my son is an adult man and needs to regain his self-respect and independence. Receiving help from parents is not conducive to a young man's sense of pride and self respect in my opinion, and I believe that every time we rescued or helped him in the past was a blow to his ego. I have determined that I will not help him even if he asks, unless maybe he has some 'skin in the game' so that my support would be helping him achieve something HE had started/organised/planned.I don't know if my resolve would hold though if he was really in trouble, but I haven't had that test... yet! </p><p>Hugs to you, look after yourself, and remember... he is a grown man and can look after himself too!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Waitingforamiracle, post: 759387, member: 25449"] My son (24) has cut us off since August of this year. He did it before but came back to us at the start of the pandemic, as we have a separate building he can stay in. My situation is like yours except he has (AFAIK) no addiction issues and lives very cleanly on the whole. He displays all the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder with narcissistic traits, although sometimes I think he fakes the whole thing just to wind us up, as he is very very manipulative and always has been. After another glass-smashing and verbal abuse incident I finally had enough and politely asked him to leave to stay in a hotel for a few days as a 'time out'. He created a memorable scene and we called the police, he left and since then nothing. Though we are able to see a few posts he puts on social media, so I believe he is OK and has some kind of accommodation. I got myself a rescue dog and pour all my excess care and love into her. It really helps, and I also reflect on the fact that my son is an adult man and needs to regain his self-respect and independence. Receiving help from parents is not conducive to a young man's sense of pride and self respect in my opinion, and I believe that every time we rescued or helped him in the past was a blow to his ego. I have determined that I will not help him even if he asks, unless maybe he has some 'skin in the game' so that my support would be helping him achieve something HE had started/organised/planned.I don't know if my resolve would hold though if he was really in trouble, but I haven't had that test... yet! Hugs to you, look after yourself, and remember... he is a grown man and can look after himself too! [/QUOTE]
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