Not alone

Not Unique

New Member
I am hoping this is an introductory thread and a continuation of my first attempt. My prior post stated that my son was diagnosed with bipolar one/schizo affective disorder when he was 17. He is now 29. There have been dozens and dozens of psychiatric stays. Some of them escorted by police. He has now been incarcerated for many misdemeanors and he has become homeless because we are no longer able to let him live with us. He was living with my mom and dad for several years until they were no longer able to handle him. My dad is now in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s and my mom is in senior living. Which is a relief for all of us because she cannot bring him with her due to the rules of her facility. He is halfway across the country in a psychiatric unit after he got out of jail two weeks ago and wound up Getting rearrested and placed in psychiatric care within 40 hours. His calls to us are incessant for money and help. When we do not give him what he wants his threats become pretty awful. We love him and we are so broken. And yet, I still keep going forward because that is what I believe my higher power wants me to do. I am grateful for a Twelve step program and I am grateful to know I am not alone. You are all so incredible for sharing your stories with all of us.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am sorry for the hard times and you are doing all you can, which is little. We are not magicians and we can't save our troubled.kids. But saving yourself is good. Keep going to those meetings.
 

Not Unique

New Member
I’m sorry about your dad having to go in a nursing home. Does your son comply with taking his medications?
Thank you so much for responding, Crayola. My son complies on and off with his medications. He took them at my moms mostly because he was practically hand fed them by her. But he would leave for days to gamble or smoke crack and then the medications efficacy was obviously Interrupted. He just called me a few hours ago to let me know he was being released from the psychiatric unit yet again. He was hoping that my husband and I would send him a little extra money via Western Union because it’s his birthday tomorrow. My husband and I go back-and-forth about whether this is The right thing to do. My husband says he sleeps better at night knowing at least he sent him a few dollars and he can buy something to eat. We both know he never buys anything to eat with that money. I make sure I let him know that I love him because I do with all my heart. I also try to make it clear that I am no longer in the job of trying to save him. I read all about the fog on this wonderful website. And as a mother I always have to redirect my thoughts and ask God for help when I am feeling that incredible guilt that I have let go of his circumstances.
 

Nomad

Well-Known Member
Staff member
We are in some ways a similar situation in our household. We just couldn’t do it anymore. The extreme poor choices snd “neediness” fir lack of a better word of our adult daughter with bipolar disorder eventually became too much. We’ve been very badly hurt and are now burned out. We do help her minimally with a cell phone and some medical needs. This is how we’ve chosen to deal with. We are considering sending her a practical gift certificate for her birthdays and at Christmas. But interaction with her is often difficult as she can get weird and manipulative…so even that we are not certain. Again, this is simply an example of how we have chosen to limit our interaction but help her minimally. Otherwise it’s just too “problematic” to put it very simply and very mildly. It is a very painful reality we are stuck in. We are doing the very best to move forward with our lives. Boundaries are crucial. I have found prayer comforting. Sending good thoughts for wisdom and strength. I do understand.
 
Last edited:
Top