Numbness

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by BusynMember, Jun 2, 2019.

  1. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    I feel like I have been through too much to care about anyone ever again. This is impeding my feelings for my family and friends. I cant shake it either. I am very cold i side. I don't want to be, but I am. I am not sure the feelings will ever return or that I want them to. Caring leads to hurt and I am too old to get my heart broken again. It may just stop beating and nobody will care.
     
  2. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    Hi Busy.

    I am sad that this is happening for you and I relate to this. I am going through something similar. I believe that we come to these places in our lives (this pain and restriction and feeling blocked, where we don't know where and to whom to turn) for a reason, and that reason is to have impetus to find a purer and truer and more meaningful way to understand ourselves, our journey and our life. If I did not believe this, I would drown in despair.

    But I do believe this. I find solace in my faith. I meditate, listen to music, read, listen, and I try to find in myself the place that this resonates. I have faith that in time I will find again in connections with others, this joyful and loving space, but sometimes I despair too.

    You have been through a lot and you are doing so much to understand and to put into place and to work through what has happened and what can happen. Let us try to acknowledge ourselves in a loving way, for the struggle. It is worthwhile, I think. But hard. Yes.
     
  3. BusynMember

    BusynMember Active Member

    I am too frozen to try. Bad place to be. I don't mind enjoying non living things but that is all
     
  4. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Busy

    I am sorry to hear of how bad you are feeling but I also think that is our mind's way of protecting us from things that we cannot control so maybe it is a good thing.

    It's very hard to find any joy in life when someone we love so much is just not right. To me, my son was trying to destroy himself.

    The only thing I can recommend is what I did but it is NOT an easy fix. I also sometimes felt that death would be less painful but then I thought about my other son and my husband and friends and all the blessings that I have in my life and that I would not help my son at all by destroying ME.

    I prayed, went to private therapy, surrendered and waited.