I am, as the title says, potentially on the brink of doing something very out of character. There's someone at work who intrigues me, and I believe, is also intrigued by me. Thus far no opportunities to advance this attraction have come up. But if by chance opportunity does strike, I wouldn't say no. This is huge. I have always been a very loyal, faithful partner. The past two years of hell with my W and her children have shaken me to the core of my being. Maybe it's less about me changing and more about my situation not being right for me anymore. W and I did reconcile, and we got through our crisis, but it took a toll. Sadly I just don't feel the same anymore. I don't trust that she has not strayed (this was the crux of our crisis, a crush on her end that got out of hand and which she claims stopped just before going beyond the point of no return - though I'm not sure I believe her). I lost (the person I thought was) my best friend earlier this year. The prospect of losing W too, even if by my own choosing and even if it is the right thing to do, is too much to imagine. But I don't love W the way I once did and deep in my heart I think I'd be better off single and free to find someone with whom I am more compatible. I don't want to be alone. I really don't have any friends. My family is in the area but we are not especially close. I'd essentially be all by myself if I left W. There's no way I'd immediately take up with my work crush. I know very little about them - but I do know they are married - and that they do not, as far as I know, share my sexual orientation. I think the woman is potentially curious or beginning to explore herself in that way. But she is married to a man. It would be a train wreck at this point. Nothing can happen unless and until a) we're both single and b) she comes out as gay or bi. Maybe this woman's purpose is to point me in a direction where ultimately I can be happier and more fulfilled. W will never be able to meet my deepest emotional needs. She simply can't do it, it isn't in her nature. Just venting tonight, thank you for listening.