One step forward...two steps back. Ugh!

tbod

New Member
I thought I would update you all on my daughter since it's been awhile. I don't remember if I posted this or not, but we had an IEP a couple of months ago to discuss my daughter's horrible attendance. Now that she is 18, they stopped sending me letters from the district attorney regarding her truancies. Now that she is an adult, technically she doesn't HAVE to be in school, but of course we all want to see her eventually get a diploma. At the meeting, the school counselor informed us all (difficult child included) that if my daughter were to continue to go to school only about one day a week, she wouldn't graduate till she was 24. Yikes! Since my daughter is under the ED program (emotionally disturbed) she is allowed to attend high school only to the age of 22. So in other words, my daughter would not be graduating at all.

They brought up another alternative to my daughter continuing in high school. There is a community college about a half hour away from where we live, that will let her go to school only two days a week and get her diploma much faster. Under the program at the college, difficult child would only have to earn 160 credits to graduate, rather than 230 at traditional high school. My mom happens to live right by the campus, and she graciously agreed to drive my daughter to school two days a week at the community college. Of course only going to school 2 days a week sounded like a dream to my daughter, so we agreed to withdraw her from the high school and enroll her in the program at the college.

It has now been three weeks since she disenrolled and started classes at the new school. We made arrangements with the school to have my daughter attend on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, from 8:30 to 1:30. So for the past three weeks, difficult child has not gotten up to go to school on the Tuesdays that she was designated to go. She literally sleeps right through her alarm, and when my mom calls her cell phone multiple times, she can't hear it. Anyway, my daughter did manage to go to school on Wednesday and Thursday to make up for not going on Tuesday. That was how the first three weeks went.

So now we come to week 4, and my daughter once again slept through her alarm and did not get up to go to school on Tuesday. My mom decided, like she has been doing, to take my daughter to school Wednesday and Thursday instead. So now it's Wednesday, but my daughter once again did not get up for school. I set her alarm for two different times this morning, in case she slept through the first one, and she did not get up. I was calling her frantically while I was at work, hoping she would finally pick up the phone. She slept right through the alarms and phone calls, and missed school once again today. She has tomorrow to possibly make up for the time that she missed. She cannot make up days on Fridays. So now I am left wondering, how on earth is she going to make it through this program if she is dead asleep and can't hear alarms or phone calls?

And whats' worse, how on earth is she ever going to get a JOB if she can't wake up by 8:00? The school she is at now says they are going to drop her from the program if she doesn''t go to school for two straight weeks. Okay so then what? My daughter is out of options to get a diploma and become independent and work someday?

Speaking of work, she now has a career specialist, who just happens to work a my school, working with her to place her in a job for people with special disabilities. First my daughter has to complete 7 workshops before they place her in a part time job. The workshops are actually going to be quite useful for my difficult child. They are going to teach her about hygiene, go over how to do a resume, do mock interviews, and basically teach her skills on how to do a good job. She is getting paid for the workshops. She hasn't started yet. But how on earth is she supposed to hold down a job on the days she is not at school, if she completely sleeps through the alarm?

How is my daughter ever to fulfill her dream of becoming a vet assistant, if she can't work and can't go to school? More importantly, how is she ever going to become fully independent, work full time, support herself, and finally move the heck out of my HOUSE? I cannot afford to keep supporting her, especially after child support stops for both my kids. I cannot even handle being around my daughter 24/7 due to her incredibly disrespectful, nasty attitude. Is there any hope? I am not seeing a light at the end of a tunnel here!

I have a 19 1/2 year old in the same boat. Trying to get him through high school after years and years of getting expelled from schools (about 9 of them) so we tried the homeschooling route (disaster). He's years behind his peers and like you...my concern is that he wont have all of the tools he needs to make it on his own either. So, I understand your stress. If its any consolation, I have noticed over time...that some maturity has started. Not a lot, but some....and that he's not getting fired from his jobs quite a quickly as before. That's a plus. So, like some of the other comments have alluded to...that your daughter may be on a timeline that might be a little slower than that rest of the pack...but, things could turn around dramatically as she put a few more years behind her.
 

AppleCori

Well-Known Member
Cali,

Does your daughter continue to go to class? Will she graduate? Are there any services or plans in place for after graduation?

Apple
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
Cali,

Does your daughter continue to go to class? Will she graduate? Are there any services or plans in place for after graduation?

Apple
She has now decided to study for her GED. She is actually on her way to the school right now to discuss taking the practice test and then getting tutoring for the areas she needs work on. She is also enrolled in a program that helps young adults with disabilities get placed in jobs. She has 7 workshops to attend. They are teaching her interview skills, customer service, personal hygiene, etc. Today is her second workshop. She gets paid to attend the workshops.

After she has completed the program, she will be placed in a part time job. Wish us luck on this. If she misses more than several weeks in a row of the workshops, they are kicking her out of the program. She signed up for the program a couple of months ago, but has only made it to one workshop so far. She always finds excuses for not following through. This is a big opportunity for her. I hope she doesn't blow it.
 
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