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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 684075" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>The best dollar I never spent on therapy was when my sister shared with me that her therapist said "you cannot save your father." It was like the sky opened and the sun shined through. </p><p></p><p>It took me the better part of 10 years to relearn that with my son.</p><p></p><p>And yes, finally knowing or feeling that you cannot save some one is not the same as radical acceptance...but it is a step along the way.</p><p></p><p>If it helps at all...I let go of my son a year or two ago, the same time that I slipped away from this forum...you were just starting to post then, I remember. I am so much more well now. My son is who he is. His bad choices have been limited in their range by the fact that he has been in jail. I enjoy our short phone calls. I may even have it in me to help him a bit when he is moved to court mandated rehab. I haven't exceeded my own limits with him in quite some time (and I was AWESOME at exceeding my own limits, as so many of us are.). And it is OK. I love him and appreciate some of the things about him that I always loved. I don't fret or perseverate or fear for him...at least not today, or yestarday, or for many months now. He is who he is with his own path and I am who I am. I was pouring all my water into the sewer...now I have it stored and saved for watering flowers, and everyone, including he, is better off.</p><p></p><p>Your kindness and your love for your daughter shine through, as does your resilience and commitment. but really...5 kids?????? I tell EVERYONE that four was maybe a little more than I expected..although of course there is not a one of them that I would give up. </p><p></p><p>I wish for you a similar path of your own. </p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 684075, member: 17269"] The best dollar I never spent on therapy was when my sister shared with me that her therapist said "you cannot save your father." It was like the sky opened and the sun shined through. It took me the better part of 10 years to relearn that with my son. And yes, finally knowing or feeling that you cannot save some one is not the same as radical acceptance...but it is a step along the way. If it helps at all...I let go of my son a year or two ago, the same time that I slipped away from this forum...you were just starting to post then, I remember. I am so much more well now. My son is who he is. His bad choices have been limited in their range by the fact that he has been in jail. I enjoy our short phone calls. I may even have it in me to help him a bit when he is moved to court mandated rehab. I haven't exceeded my own limits with him in quite some time (and I was AWESOME at exceeding my own limits, as so many of us are.). And it is OK. I love him and appreciate some of the things about him that I always loved. I don't fret or perseverate or fear for him...at least not today, or yestarday, or for many months now. He is who he is with his own path and I am who I am. I was pouring all my water into the sewer...now I have it stored and saved for watering flowers, and everyone, including he, is better off. Your kindness and your love for your daughter shine through, as does your resilience and commitment. but really...5 kids?????? I tell EVERYONE that four was maybe a little more than I expected..although of course there is not a one of them that I would give up. I wish for you a similar path of your own. Echo [/QUOTE]
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