Our son is still in his addiction...Kratom

[BusynMember1]

It's very frustrating. Addicts who are using actively do not think like we do or they would stop. Addicts quit every day. Until/unless they do quit, they live in a world of no rules, no responsibility and selfishness.

It is a terrible disease

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry that your middle son is still in the depths of addiction. You are right about him being very sweet natured when sober. I wish I had a magic wand that would fix addiction. My brother is (and has been) lying about his sobriety for quite some time. My mother buys his lies about his sobriety. The rest of us don't. You don't have a truck full of beer cans if you are sober. Or a 12 pack of beer in your home. Esp when NONE of the family would drink around you in your home.

I hope that someday someone figures out a real way to help those with addiction. Until then, all we can do is support each other.

 

[mogburn2]

Hi all...
It's been a long while since I've posted. I came here today with a heavy heart after reading lovemyson1 post about her son passing...there but for the grace of God go I. Yes, it could be any of us. I hope all will wrap their loving arms around her in support.

Just wanted to post a brief update that we are still allowing our middle son to live with us lest he be homeless like he was for a number of years.

He is working a couple of days a week and insists on going to the smoke shop not only for his vaping but for Kratom. I know very little about this substance but am concerned!
Seems his leaning towards addictive substances is never far away.

He can't work very many hours for health reasons but he does work enough to afford this Kratom. Do any of y'all have experience with yours using this? Should I be worried?

As its name suggests, Thai kratom is a strain native to Thailand. This highly sought-after strain is also one of the most accessible, and is available in green, white, and red vein varieties. The effects will be dictated by the vein colour, but, as all three are available, it is really down to the user as to which one is most suitable. Thai kratom provides an initially stimulating feeling, even in small doses, and settles into a soothing and relaxing sensation that lasts quite some time.

 

[squish]

I know this is an old post but I was an addict and I do not at all believe in the 12 step program. After 8 months i do not want to be constantly reminded I'm an "addict". With these programs there's nothing more to life then being a "addict" and celebrating X amount of days I haven't been an addict. There's no moving on from it, you're entire life is based upon once being an addict. It's degrading and inhumane. 12 steps have some of the worse turn arounds in any sort of rehabilitation program. No one wants to be reminded of it 24/7, it causes your mind to go back to the reason u took drugs in the 1st place then you end up relapsing. People just don't understand why anyone uses in the 1st place. It isn't a "desease" or "illness".

It's pain, lots of it. Mental pain. And they do not know how to cope with it. So they cope with substances. After I properly learned / was taught how to cope and move past my pain, the substance use faded away. Because it was no longer needed. Addicts are very missunderstood, and it makes it much worse when we cast them out and say they're deseased people. They're people like anyone else, People with pain. Try to take some time to understand their pain and address the root cause of it. Once the cause has been established and resolved, the substance abuse will fade away. If you get someone clean without addressing the root cause, they will fall right back into the cycle.

 

[Copabanana]

After I properly learned / was taught how to cope and move past my pain, the substance use faded away.

How were you able to move past your pain?

Thank you for posting.

 

[Crayola13]

Twelve step programs have a very high failure rate. There are other forms of treatment. I don’t know why 12 step programs are considered the gold standard. DBT is helpful for many people, particularly those using drugs to calm their anxiety or depression.

 

[BusynMember]

I usev12 step as being the parent of an addict. Don't know if it works for addicts. Doubt there is one way to do it. Addicts tell me most just quit on their own.

 

[ali77]

Thank you Triedntrue...
Yes...long family history particularly with alcohol. And yes even more difficult to understand when dear husband and I abstain. I won't even use NyQuil unless I think I'm dying from the Flu! And when I had a uterus ablation procedure several years ago, they wanted to give me a bottle of pain pills but I explained that I have addiction problems and only needed a few. I take it very seriously. It is a condition and I must be responsible for it! I wish my middle son felt the same.

Copa...if you read this, I want you to know I totally hear you and am as perplexed by the homeless draw as you are! My son told me last week that he was thinking about visiting his old homeless community in California. Do what?
I said, "Your grandmother is vacationing in France right now...you do NOT go on vacation to a homeless community!"
The deprivation and self destruction all around...what in the world is he thinking???
I don't get it! We live in a beautiful inviting home outside the city limits with mom and dad and 2 dogs that adore him a job his dad has provided etc etc etc but it is not enough! Someone help me understand. It just makes no sense. And he has always lived in a very clean environment too!

Anyway...he is a mess! I'm so relieved my older son got it together and regularly attends AA. Daughter is still working on her Masters degree in...Family counseling and is also a licensed massage therapist.

If I could help to get this one son to see the light...my life really would be complete!
LMS

It sounds like your son is seeking people he can relate with, that he doesn't have to hide anything from. Being an addict and not having a community of people who get it, well that can be a very lonely place

 

[lovemysons]

ali77…
Sadly we lost my beautiful son last Thanksgiving morning. He was with his homeless community in California. He was on Meth on the highway at 4:50 in the morning with no shoes on. He was hit by an illegal immigrant who of course did not possess a license to drive.

I am still grieving this tragedy. He had the biggest heart and wanted to evangelize the homeless. Sadly his addiction won out.

I know he loved me so much. I wish a mothers love could save a beloved addicted son. I miss him so very much.

My husband and I tried everything to help him but he made the final choice. As I have said before…free will sucks for God and sucks for us as parents too.

I think of my son all of the time. The pain of missing him will never go away till I see him again.
I love my sweet son forever and ever.

LMS

 

[ali77]

ali77…
Sadly we lost my beautiful son last Thanksgiving morning. He was with his homeless community in California. He was on Meth on the highway at 4:50 in the morning with no shoes on. He was hit by an illegal immigrant who of course did not possess a license to drive.

I am still grieving this tragedy. He had the biggest heart and wanted to evangelize the homeless. Sadly his addiction won out.

I know he loved me so much. I wish a mothers love could save a beloved addicted son. I miss him so very much.

My husband and I tried everything to help him but he made the final choice. As I have said before…free will sucks for God and sucks for us as parents too.

I think of my son all of the time. The pain of missing him will never go away till I see him again.
I love my sweet son forever and ever.

LMS

I am so sorry that your son passed away. I didn't realise this was an old post. You must miss him dreadfully. I hope you can find some peace somehow, until the day you can be together again

 

[lovemysons]

Thank you ali77

 

[squish]

How were you able to move past your pain?

Thank you for posting.

When I was using, I didn't even really understand what my pain was. I just felt awful and decided to run away from it using drugs. My choice was oxycodone. I think I was on it for around 2 years but I've been on many many drugs. More then I can even count. started at around 17-19 and was on them near constantly until I was 22. I started using because of my anxiety, I found it nearly impossible to go out in public or have any sort of meaningful conversation with anyone without feeling immense stress. So I turned to weed to try help. After I was on that for a year or so I decided to quit, I think that was the starting point for my addiction. Because I used weed to cope with my anxiety, I'd now forgotten how to cope without it. It was a spiral from there until I ended up on oxycodone, I was now using that to cope with the severe PTSD I'd given myself from awful experiences I had during the peak of my drug usage, mainly hallucinogens.

The choice wasn't easy but I came to the decision to quit and try to get better one day. I'm not too sure where it came from as I refused to even think about quitting as just the thought of it sent me into an anxious mess. Thinking about the severe withdrawal and not being able to cope without them. I decided to try to open up to family and told them the reasons I started in the 1st place, then we got to work on fixing the root cause. During this time I was still using as I wanted to learn how to cope normally without drugs. A few months of CBT and therapy later and I felt confident that I'd learned new ways to cope with my problems.

Once I was at that stage, I slowly found myself taking less and less as I started to try these new mechanisms I'd learned during CBT. I stuck to a taper plan to try to reduce the withdrawals as much as possible and it eventually worked. I had a few slip ups here and there but I've now been off them for well over a year. I still drink occasionally and smoke weed once or twice a year socially and never feel the need to continue using as I once did before. I now know how to cope and live my life free of the burden of drugs.

Sorry for the lengthy post but I hope this helps anyone whos family members are struggling with addiction or them themselves. There is a way out I promise you.

 

[Copabanana]

There is a way out I promise you.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I admire you.

 

[Nomad]

Much wisdom and strength! Thank you for sharing your important and helpful story.