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Substance Abuse
Our son was arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762604" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am so very sorry you are upset over your sons ex wife and what she does.</p><p></p><p>Even so, you and I have no control over any other person but our own selves. This is always true even when we think they are wrong and should listen to us. We have no control even when we love them (or dislike them). We have no control over anything, including the weather, Covid, bad timing, the way others think of us...I learned the best life lesson ever while in 12 Step and that was to let go of my expectations of others. Instead, I set boundaries.</p><p></p><p> I can say our child has to respect us, but we can't make him do it. If he won't, we can severely cut contact or we can allow ourselves to be treated poorly. We have choices about our reactions but not theirs. My expectations are what I expect of myself, and I expect to be treated well or the disrespectful person will not be in my life. But I can't make that person care enough to be nice so that he/she will be in my life. I hope this makes sense.</p><p></p><p> We can take care of us but we can not take care of anyone else. If we feel wronged, we can choose anger or we can pray and let go to God when we feel ourselves or a loved one has been mistreated or manipulated. That is the extent of what we can do. I usually choose prayer these days. Yes, it is hard to do sometimes, but I want peace, not internal chaos. The way I got there was acceptance and letting go. It does not require God being in ones life, however I am grateful that God is in mine.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Wishing you well. Sorry that I left this long post. I just got out of an amazing 12 Step Zoom meeting and we were talking about this topic. Thought I'd share. Hugs and love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762604, member: 1550"] I am so very sorry you are upset over your sons ex wife and what she does. Even so, you and I have no control over any other person but our own selves. This is always true even when we think they are wrong and should listen to us. We have no control even when we love them (or dislike them). We have no control over anything, including the weather, Covid, bad timing, the way others think of us...I learned the best life lesson ever while in 12 Step and that was to let go of my expectations of others. Instead, I set boundaries. I can say our child has to respect us, but we can't make him do it. If he won't, we can severely cut contact or we can allow ourselves to be treated poorly. We have choices about our reactions but not theirs. My expectations are what I expect of myself, and I expect to be treated well or the disrespectful person will not be in my life. But I can't make that person care enough to be nice so that he/she will be in my life. I hope this makes sense. We can take care of us but we can not take care of anyone else. If we feel wronged, we can choose anger or we can pray and let go to God when we feel ourselves or a loved one has been mistreated or manipulated. That is the extent of what we can do. I usually choose prayer these days. Yes, it is hard to do sometimes, but I want peace, not internal chaos. The way I got there was acceptance and letting go. It does not require God being in ones life, however I am grateful that God is in mine. Wishing you well. Sorry that I left this long post. I just got out of an amazing 12 Step Zoom meeting and we were talking about this topic. Thought I'd share. Hugs and love. [/QUOTE]
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Our son was arrested
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