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General Parenting
Parents, how did you respond when your adult children stopped medication?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 762676" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I agree with KTMom and the other posters. </p><p></p><p>My adult son does not want to take medication he needs, but he wants things from us. In particular, he wants housing. He does not accept that if he wants our help, he needs to be tolerable to be around. On the contrary, he seeks unconditional autonomy refusing to or unable to grasp how difficult he is to be around. He is disrespectful, he is impulsive, he is paranoid, and he looks for fights. It is not farfetched to say he brings trouble to our door.</p><p></p><p>While I do not direct him to get onto medication or seek psychiatric treatment, and I do not make it a condition of trying to help him, I do factor this in, in how much I tolerate him. Which is to say, I tell him he can act insufferably and I tell him his suffering can be helped, by psychiatric medication and treatment. </p><p></p><p>In your case, it seems you are autonomous, respectful, considerate, and functional. Which is to say that you are a responsible adult. I think medication for you is a private matter.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, your parents have been through a lot with you. If they are anything like me, they love you and they are fearful. They care. They want the best for you. It hurts them to see you struggle. They want your life to be easier.</p><p></p><p>I think it might be a loving thing to do to cut them some slack. You could call upon yourself to understand where they are coming from and consider the possibility that their primary motivation is NOT to control you, not to undermine you, and NOT to disrespect you or cramp your style. It's that they love you.</p><p></p><p>Of course, you will still react when they seem to step over a line and act disrespectfully towards you. Anybody would feel this way, and you have a right to react. But I would try to approach it as is recommended above, and sit them down maybe in a cafe or other public place and kindly and calmly tell them how you feel, and kindly and respectfully ask that they give you this space. </p><p></p><p>They may handle this well, and they may not. But you will have done all that you can do to take responsibility for yourself, for respectfully articulating your needs and wishes, like an adult.</p><p></p><p>If they act badly, I would hope that you give them time to get used to being parents of an articulate, responsible, respectful adult who is able to and does voice their needs directly and firmly, even if they have not quite caught up to you, in this regard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 762676, member: 18958"] I agree with KTMom and the other posters. My adult son does not want to take medication he needs, but he wants things from us. In particular, he wants housing. He does not accept that if he wants our help, he needs to be tolerable to be around. On the contrary, he seeks unconditional autonomy refusing to or unable to grasp how difficult he is to be around. He is disrespectful, he is impulsive, he is paranoid, and he looks for fights. It is not farfetched to say he brings trouble to our door. While I do not direct him to get onto medication or seek psychiatric treatment, and I do not make it a condition of trying to help him, I do factor this in, in how much I tolerate him. Which is to say, I tell him he can act insufferably and I tell him his suffering can be helped, by psychiatric medication and treatment. In your case, it seems you are autonomous, respectful, considerate, and functional. Which is to say that you are a responsible adult. I think medication for you is a private matter. But the thing is, your parents have been through a lot with you. If they are anything like me, they love you and they are fearful. They care. They want the best for you. It hurts them to see you struggle. They want your life to be easier. I think it might be a loving thing to do to cut them some slack. You could call upon yourself to understand where they are coming from and consider the possibility that their primary motivation is NOT to control you, not to undermine you, and NOT to disrespect you or cramp your style. It's that they love you. Of course, you will still react when they seem to step over a line and act disrespectfully towards you. Anybody would feel this way, and you have a right to react. But I would try to approach it as is recommended above, and sit them down maybe in a cafe or other public place and kindly and calmly tell them how you feel, and kindly and respectfully ask that they give you this space. They may handle this well, and they may not. But you will have done all that you can do to take responsibility for yourself, for respectfully articulating your needs and wishes, like an adult. If they act badly, I would hope that you give them time to get used to being parents of an articulate, responsible, respectful adult who is able to and does voice their needs directly and firmly, even if they have not quite caught up to you, in this regard. [/QUOTE]
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Parents, how did you respond when your adult children stopped medication?
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