I have been attending a new Church and listening with my entire heart for answers on how I need to move forward with my troubled 35 year old daughter and get her off my financial breast. This week I have heard nothing but excuses from her about her financial irresponsibility and I have not said one word. Confronting her while she is manic is a losing battle and then she rages. I have just listened and looked at her but not said one word. This is different for me especially since I yelled at her like an out of control maniac. I am working on forgiving myself for screaming at the top of my lungs over the horrible stupid things she has done. I know she knows better. I am at a stand still about her habitual lies. If I confront them, we would not have any relationship at all, and she would defend each lie even though I can show her the truth is writting. I just listen and decide if it is a lie or not and just not answer. It is nothing but chatter noise. Maybe a bit of truth here and there but most of it is lies and nonsense to keep me confused and in turmoil. By not calling her on her lies, for now it keeps the peace but am I even helping her or me by choosing to just listen?? The lies actually hurt my soul. They are so stupid and senseless and why would anyone bother making that kind of noise on a regular basis, she knows that I am intune. I was once told that if I take everything she says as a lie and go about my day and just know that is what she does then it can be doable but in reality I hate it. I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I feel she is stealing my reality. I really have no idea how to handle the lies. A few years ago I would yell at her to stop the F lies. When we were in therapy and I told the therapist I could not stand the lies, the therapist looked at my daughter and told her that because she lied, it made her invisible. The frustration I feel and the waste I feel is awful. Why did we spend all that money on her private college or why did I spend all that money and time on therapy that never lead to anywhere. Years and years of therapy sometimes 3 times a week and still she is lying and stealing and living with a man that is so much like her. All the Church days and Church camps and Church retreats and all the money spent to guide her into a fruitful life is wasted.. The fancy spa she opened is about to end. I have to get completely untied from her financially. Completely. If she goes homeless, she knows about shelters and she knows how to get food. For most of her growing up life we did volunteer work in food pantries and homeless shelters. She knows how people end up there, she knows what to do to keep herself out of there. NOT MY PROBLEM ANYMORE. 2018 is the year of positive changes moving forward and quit lugging a deadbeat daughter around. There were a few times that we had a good time when we traveled together. Now she is moody, stays on her phone or is in the middle of a major on going crisis with her toxic boyfriend. The thought of traveling with her is not on my list. Even though my mom wants to see both of us for a ST Patricks day celebration this March. UGH. Tomorrow I have to deal with her in person. I am going to align myself with God and center myself though meditation. I will keep myself centered in God's holy peace and lean into that hard. With that peace all around me I will not be damaged or used and the lies she will tell me will fly right off of me and not harm my spirit. I will remember that it is HER journey and not mine. I will remember that because I want great things for her, she may not want that for her and I need to be ok with that. I will remember that she is a grown adult woman, NOT this little girl that I sometimes see in her, but a grown woman almost 36 close to 40 for God's Sake.