Pg update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ksm, Sep 19, 2019.

  1. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    she saw her OB/GYN yesterday. Pregnancy is confirmed.

    I have now connected the dots and this was not an oops. She actually saw the doctor earlier this year because she wasn't getting pregnant. And, had a test to see if she was immune to the measles as we had an outbreak in our community...just in case she did get pregnant!

    I'm trying to be a loving mom/grandma, but I've got to walk that thin line of of concern and enabling. I have a list of things she needs to do ASAP. Of course, seeing the doctor was one. The next 4 things have not been completed.

    Call the pregnancy center as they can coordinate other help and Info

    Turn in Medicaid application

    Turn in food stamp application

    Call WIC and make appointment

    Today is the last day I can help her with these tasks, this week. I will be out of town tomorrow. I saw that she was on line...but she's throwing up. I don't know what will get done.

    KSM
     
  2. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    I'm so sorry. I know you wanted better for her.

    Deliberately getting pregnant at 19 is something I cannot understand. I would have jumped off a bridge rather than be pregnant at that age. It sounds like adoption is out of the question.

    She is eligible for a lot of services, including a housing voucher, thankfully. At your age, you really cannot raise a great grandchild, and I'm glad you made that clear to her.
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    KSM

    Shocking she wanted to get pregnant. I just cannot understand that line of thinking either.

    She is so very lucky that she has you. Even if you aren't raising the child, letting her live with you or whatever, you are there to give her guidance and that is a wonderful thing!
     
  4. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    Encourage her to have a tubal ligation. It can be reversed (when she's about 30).
     
  5. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I’m not surprised.

    This is so, so common.

    Young girls hope to keep their boyfriends from leaving them by having a baby (even if it didn’t work for the last two girls, in this case).

    Young girls are so naive of the realities of life.


    I’m very sorry this is happening.
     
  6. WiseChoices

    WiseChoices Active Member

    Yeah, she is trying to tie herself to this sick man who has a track record of abandoning his children and his responsibility to them. We always think that with us he will be different. He won't. She will end up without him and without any support from him just like the other women he did this with.

    Some lessons are very difficult in life .
     
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  7. Blindsided

    Blindsided Face the Sun

    I will say a prayer she gets through at least part of that list. You are doing good. Stick to your guns. Take advantage of the break. :angel: to watch over you.
     
  8. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    She got a medical card! I figured we would have to wait, but the office finished it up and printed out a letter to use!

    She called WIC and has an appointment on Tuesday. This will provide some vouchers for milk, bread, peanut butter, cereal and beans.

    She had to get more lab and we picked up prenatal vitamins the doctor called in.

    She wants to pick up an application for a local debt collection agency. She figures it would be a sit town job.

    The next biggie...the pregnancy center and the food stamps...

    But something got done!
     
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  9. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    And a funny/not funny story about her boyfriend. He is 21. We went to a medical clinic that has an office that helps people apply for state insurance.

    It is near the front entrance and there are a couple wheelchairs for people to use. DGD and I went into the office and there are two chairs. I need to give insurance info, but offered to stand. He said he would wait on bench in the lobby.

    About the time we were done, the employee kind of laughed and told DGD that her boyfriend was going up and down the hall in a wheel chair. DGD tells him to stop...that they are for patients that need them. He says, no one knows what condition I am in. He finally stops, we go to the car, and he complains "that was hard! My arms are really tired!"

    As we left her office... I mouthed the words "help me!"

    Ksm
     
  10. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    AppleCori... Exactly what I told her! It the first two babies don't have an intact family...what makes her think hers will? Ksm
     
  11. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Blindsided - tomorrow I'm driving to a larger town to meet a group of friends for coffee and chatting. This was planned before I hot the news... It will be a mental break to not make the pregnancy my main focus.

    Ksm
     
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  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    It's going to be a very tough lesson... But the worst will be the hardest for the child. No one deserves to lose the dad lottery.

    Ksm
     
  13. Crayola13

    Crayola13 Active Member

    She made a few dents in that list. Maybe a few more tomorrow!
     
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