Pizza disaster

[Wiped Out]

This is just a snapshot to show how difficult child doesn't handle disappointment well. husband ordered pizza while I was at curch. difficult child was very excited-he loves pizza.

husband accidentally ordered the pizza with mushroom along with the pepperoni and sausage. We always order sausage and pepperoni on at least half. I picked off the mushrooms for him on several pieces. Not good enough. difficult child is swearing and screaming. husband told him he was sorry and also mentioned to difficult child that if he hadn't been bothering him while he was on the phone ordering maybe the mistake wouldn't have happened.

difficult child sits at the table and tells me how he was looking forward to this pizza all day and puts his head down on the table and begins to cry. easy child/difficult child came down and nicely tried to convince him it was o.k.

husband said nothing is ever enough with difficult child-so true. He played tons of games with him, helped him come up with a Halloween costume when the one he was planning on didn't fit anymore, and then difficult child screams at him about the pizza.

On the positive front difficult child did apologize (with-out being asked) to husband and he didn't throw any of the food (something that would have happened in the past). Also when husband offered to go buy him a piece of pizza from somewhere difficult child did say no. While the rest of us were eating he said he wanted to go to bed and sleep til Halloween. I brought him upstairs, read to him for about 5 minutes and he was out. It was only 7:00.

Poor husband feels horrible about it. He really was trying to do something nice for difficult child by ordering pizza. Sigh...

 

[HaoZi]

Awww. I will say on your difficult child's behalf that picking off stuff you don't like doesn't remove the flavor it leaves behind. Yuck!

 

[gcvmom]

He must have been really tired and that probably contributed to his rigidity over the situation. Hope that's all it was and that he wakes up with more resiliency tomorrow!

 

[crazymama30]

Sharon, I can so relate to that. I remember many times difficult child would go to bed without dinner, one time it was because mcdonalds had put onions on his burger----he almost threw the plate out the window at that one. Just today I told him I would not buy him the ninja dagger for his costume as he called easy child an a**hole when walking up to me in the grocery store and I do not buy things for people who are rude and mean.

Hugs. husband did nothing wrong, and in fact was very kind. I would have told difficult child to pick off the mushrooms himself.

I hate the rigidity too, by the way.

 

[svengandhi]

Many moons ago, I had a boyfriend who loved pepperoni pizza. I hate it. I actually went out and bought pepperoni to keep in the fridge to add to his plain slices but he insisted on ordering half pepperoni, half plain. The pep ALWAYS sneaked on to my side and infected it with a vile taste but I'd eat around it until one day, when the pizza came full pepperoni. After I finished screaming at him, I picked up the pie and threw it against the wall. After that, he ordered plain and added the pepperoni I bought. The ironic thing is that we broke up because HE was bipolar!

I get difficult child's feelings. I can't stand mushrooms either. I would not eat a piece of pizza that had either pepperoni or mushrooms on it. Actually, I still like only naked pizza.

 

[Allan-Matlem]

Hi,

This is typical explosive child stuff - probably he lacks ' cognitive flexibility and black and white rigid thinking.

bad feelings are unstable and just get in the way of learning fom experiences . I don't think husband blaming difficult child could be a learning experience for difficult child. in the moment we just have to find ways to calm difficult child down and get him thinking and rationale again. Out of the moment when husband and difficult child are feeling good about each other they could do some proactive Plan B - collaborative problem solving , also we can explore ways for difficult child to handle disappointment - maybe words - I am disappointed, frustrated but at least ... , no big deal etc

Not easy , education and acquiring lacking skills is a process

Allan

 

[AnnieO]

I'm glad that things didn't quite happen the way they did in the past...

FWIW, there are a LOT of things that Jett doesn't like. A couple of years ago, he would have cried, refused to eat, or even thrown a tantrum if we put a single particle of onion/mushroom/tomato/pickle/whatever on anything.

We've worked with him on this... And Saturday, we ordered his chicken WITHOUT pickles. It came WITH. And he just picked them off and offered them to me. No fight, no fuss. I was thrilled...

So there's hope...

 

[HaoZi]

I was a confirmed "naked pizza" person until a three or four years ago. And just last month I developed a taste for honey mustard, but still brand picky about it. I still won't touch ketchup, mustard, mayo, bbq sauce, etc. I still won't use the "wipe/pick it off and eat the rest" method because the taste and smell still lingers and it's nasty to me. Ditto veggies. But it is good that the situation didn't reach meltdown point, I forgot to mention that in my prior post, they both did quite well with working it out.

 

[DaisyFace]

Sharon--

I'm sure that the hardest part of all of this is that it was SUPPOSED to be a fun, happy thing. How frustrating! Poor husband....sounds like he tried really hard to make it a fun time.

I'm glad difficult child apologized and didn't make a fuss about getting new pizza or throw any food around. Sounds like difficult child tried really hard, too.

Maybe there's hope yet!

(And a note posted by the phone about pizza ingredients might help, too!)

 

[Wiped Out]

Thanks everyone! I guess in the end he did handle it better than other times. I think I was so frustrated because his meltdown went on for so long.

Allan-I probably didn't explain husband saying that very well. He did say it but tried to do it more as a learning moment and not when difficult child was at the biggest part of his meltdown but still you do have a good point on that. Question-It's really hard to implement Plan B with our son, we do use when we can but most times (even when it is a time near or far removed from the incident) he refuses to process. As I said at times we can use plan B but it is rare. Any suggestions?