Or in Safe Families for Children? (church run volunteer group finds host family) Background. After 10 years of not working, I finally divorced my emotionally abusive, mentally ill ex-husband last April. Our twin boys were age 7. Then, in August, my ex hung himself. I am now 100% with the children, always the only financial provider, depleted from the ex-husbands treatment, I am worn out. When the twins are separated, they function okay, behaving like challenging, spirited children. But when together and especially with me, the defiance and acting out is severe. One boys has ADHD and I am now trying to get him on medication. I make too much money to get mass health but will still try to get it. I am way behind in my job although boss is sympathetic for now, because I have downplayed the severity of the home atmosphere and promise I'll catch up with work over thanksgiving and xmas breaks. The boys have been very difficult at home these last two weeks as my father was visiting to help me with the current crisis of the twins’ rebellion and defiance at home. My father began cracking down with ‘there must be consequences!’ and the twins escalated their continuous bad behavior. When together, they use the F word, the middle finger, lock me out of the house, ignore adults, refuse to do what asked if it goes against their desires. Every moment is a battle. They have no TV or screen privileges, toys have been boxed away in the basement, but as long as they are together the game of getting to do what they want is more reward than anything we adults can take away. Every minute is a battle and I am exhausted after years of this. My parents and sibs live on the west coast, can't help other than short visits. They are now insisting I save myself and regroup by placing children in voluntarily foster care with the state or an organization like safe families for children. The fighting and acting out is so severe that it is hard even picking them up from after school in a car because they throw things and refuse to wear seatbelts in the car unless I tell the 10 times. If I say get out, you'll walk home they don't care, if it just an opportunity to defy me more and move the battle to the sidewalk.