Quick Update

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by LauraH, Oct 1, 2018.

  1. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    My son is currently in a psychiatric ward again, and hopefully will be able to stay there until a bed is available at the rehab he's on the waiting list for. Unfortunately, he's alienated most of what few friends he has in Chicago and the only person he talks to or gets visits from is the toxic boyfriend who introduced him to meth in the first place. I guess it is what it is.

    He wants to come back to Florida. I don't know if it's feasible, but the only way I will help get back down here is if he can prearrange with a rehab to where he can go and check in immediately after he lands at the airport. He can't stay with me, even for a day or two, and I don't think he has anywhere else he can stay, so if he/we can't work something out where there is no wait time between his arrival here and checkin at a rehab, he'll have to stay in Chicago and work something else out.

    And here's a little bit of inspiration that can apply to our children with behavioral disorders and/or drug addictions, and to us parents as well. I got this from a member of an addiction support community on Facebook: You don't fail by messing up, you fail by giving up.
    Some guy in the group just came up with it off the top of his head in response to another member's post about relapsing. Words to live by.

    You don't fail by messing up, you fail by giving up.
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  2. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    I'm glad to hear your son is in a safe place. I hope there will be an opening for the rehab soon.

    It's good that you know your limits when it comes to your son staying with you. I know it can be hard to tell him no but you have to take care of yourself first.

    This is so true!! Thanks for sharing this with us.

  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    We are from Chicago also and sent our son to Florida for sober living after MANY failed attempts at inpatient and outpatient rehab. He did NOT want to change. He wouldn't do it at home and didn't want to do it when we sent him away to save our own sanity either.

    I found some wonderful rehabs/sober livings in Florida but again, my son wasted his time there. The places and people were great but he wasn't ready to change.

    I don't remember how old your son is but my heart goes out to you because I remember how it feels to be in your place.
  4. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    My son will be 30 in March. He's still in the psychiatric ward but will be going into rehab tomorrow. I'm hoping this time he will see it through. He has been in rehab several times but has never completed a program. He doesn't like other people telling what to do, when he can come and go, etc. He says he intends to complete this one but I'll remain between cautiously optimistic and skeptical until he actually does. Hopefully after that he will go into a sober living home. Unfortunately he just doesn't like rules and authority figures, never has. So we'll see.
  5. Smithmom

    Smithmom Active Member

    Ah yes, the definition of a kid with ODD...no authority figures and no rules.

    Hear you on the fail by giving up. Not sure I agree though. I can only be at peace if I give up trying to change my son. I can't change him. Don't agree I've failed by giving up trying to change him.
  6. LauraH

    LauraH Active Member

    It's one thing to give up on trying to be the fixer, but as parents we shouldn't give up on hoping or let ourselves get to the point where we see our children as lost causes.