I am glad no one was hurt.but course he could hsve been.killed or killed a child. And yes I was there.My daughter had three horrible accodents.
In one she owed a lady $14,000. That was right before she went straight. We let her pay and pay the woman for years. She had not been.using our car. It was because she had driven a friends car (idiot who lent if ro her) and could have killed a child or herself or both.
This is the only thing I judge here and I dont expect to get any stars for bringing it up. Again.. Stars are not my goal however.
How can we expect them to be eventually good citizens and do the right thing while we feel.so sorry for them that we buy and fund their cars for any reason? How is this different than us getting drunk and driving? We need to tske responsibility too. And if they kill somebody because they are intoxicated and driving due to our pity or hope they will get to work.are we at fault too?
I think we are equally at fault and I did it myself until my daughter blew up our van and the kids had to scurry out of the flames and the truck was totaled. Everyone could have died. Its a miracle.nobody was hurt but I felt guilty. I had let her use our car, ,helped with insurance, she paid for gas. She never drove our vehicles again.
It didnt completely keep her off tne road but WE never ever helped her drive after that.
We locked the keys in a firebox. We didnt pay for her insurance. At least we were not at fault if intoxicated daughter killed someone and it was not our vehicle given to her with our blessings.
She was eventually told to stop using, go to a hospital (we had not heard the word rehab...my family didnt use drugs) or leave. Her choice. Of course she left.
Two other stupid "friends" let her use their cars while she was uninsured and on meth and cocaine. We didnt know her drugs of choice but her friends did .She got into accidents both times and they were her fault. She hurt a woman and not until she had been straight for three years and was in college did her dad pay off the lady. Until then Daughter kept paying slowly while she walked to and from work in the cold. The last accident scared her. The woman could have been killed and she didnt drive again until sobriety. My daughter had a heart. It helped her.
I dont understand how so many good parents put keys in the hands of addicts. I have read this accident story over and over on this forum. If you want to give them transportation, get a bike or .train or bus pass or pay for Uber. Would you go out in your car in their impaired conditions? Why help them drive on Xanax, Valium, pot, alcohol, meth, cocaine,, heroin, or anything that impairs them that you are unsure of, etc. Buying a car, paying insurance, gas, and praying wont stop a tragedy or death. If you wouldnt drive in that condition isnt it the same thing to help them do it?
Now if they buy and pay themselves you cant stop it. But if you do it, you own it. I owned it when my daughter blew uo.the car engine with three peers in it. I felt like I had done it!
Please understand that a car could kill him or another or make things worse. Its too late for them to ever emotionally recover if they kill a baby or anyone. Impaired driving is the cause of 50 percent of every accident. Look it up. Why is your adult immune?
I am the only mom I ever read about here who stopped helping an adult child drive. I dont get it. I never will. I dont bring it up much, but I dont want your kid dead of a car accident or in the grief of killing another. We have to do the right thing too.
Ok, I love you all and off my soap box and puzzled once more. My daughter walked a lot. It didnt kill her. She quit in fact. She learned to take the bus too. But mostly walked. She says it helped her recovery.....walking a lot, even in Chicago winters. She never got sick from walking in the cold.
I am done now. I love you all and your kids too and too want your kids as safe as possible. I do know two adults who worked at Applebees with me who rode bikes to work even in Wisconsins winters. If it got impossible they took cabs or called co workers for rides but usually biked.
A car is a guided missle and not a neccessity even if it stops our adults from being able to drive to the dealers house faster or the next drug party. Which I suspect my daughter did a lot. We drove her to and from work after her accident or she got rides. She liked working so not having a car didnt stop her. There are ways beside a personal car.
Love and loght!