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<blockquote data-quote="Nessie" data-source="post: 719039" data-attributes="member: 21463"><p>My son continues to be living with my parents whilst waiting to attend court for possession of controlled substances and probable intent to supply. He is complying with an out patient detox and rehab programme and does look much better then he did three weeks ago. I have had apologies as has my husband and his two sisters. I should be enjoying this 'calm' period but I feel on edge.</p><p></p><p>He has visited several times and I find this draining. Not only am I anxious about his behaviour I also find that I have to make the effort for everyone in our family. I completely understand that he has caused us all chaos and hurt and I can understand why they do not make the the same effort but it hurts me. I know my husband would say he needs to start acting sorry and words do not mean a thing but I cannot help but think this might be our best chance of helping him.</p><p></p><p>I am not in denial, he has done some appalling things and has hurt everyone of us. I suppose I am most upset with my husband and if I am honest I am disappointed that he will not make the effort, even if it's for me. I'm exhausted, I feel on edge when he visits but I feel unable to stop supporting him. I don't want this to damage my relationship but I need some perspective, even though I can understand husbands reasons. It seems from reading most people's stories where two parents are involved there is conflict. How do people manage this? And how do you maintain healthy relationships with other family members who have had their lives turned upside down?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nessie, post: 719039, member: 21463"] My son continues to be living with my parents whilst waiting to attend court for possession of controlled substances and probable intent to supply. He is complying with an out patient detox and rehab programme and does look much better then he did three weeks ago. I have had apologies as has my husband and his two sisters. I should be enjoying this 'calm' period but I feel on edge. He has visited several times and I find this draining. Not only am I anxious about his behaviour I also find that I have to make the effort for everyone in our family. I completely understand that he has caused us all chaos and hurt and I can understand why they do not make the the same effort but it hurts me. I know my husband would say he needs to start acting sorry and words do not mean a thing but I cannot help but think this might be our best chance of helping him. I am not in denial, he has done some appalling things and has hurt everyone of us. I suppose I am most upset with my husband and if I am honest I am disappointed that he will not make the effort, even if it's for me. I'm exhausted, I feel on edge when he visits but I feel unable to stop supporting him. I don't want this to damage my relationship but I need some perspective, even though I can understand husbands reasons. It seems from reading most people's stories where two parents are involved there is conflict. How do people manage this? And how do you maintain healthy relationships with other family members who have had their lives turned upside down? [/QUOTE]
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