Reverting....11y/o acting like 5y/o

[DramaQueenLucy]

difficult child 2 has been giving me issues with acting like a little kid....he isn't acting his age at all....can't even say he is acting a few years younger some of the things he has been doing are whining whenever he wants his way or doesn't get his way. Baby talk when tired, and the worst in my opinion getting in bed with me in the middle of the night. He is back to calling me Mommy and has even started to play with with toys that I keep here for my niece who is 5y/o. I just don't get this, am going to talk to therapist about it today but was wondering if others have dealt with this too and how you got your child to to stop some of these behaviors?

 

[AnnieO]

DQL - I am dealing with this right now... 10 y/o (almost 11) has recently (last few WEEKS) started regressing to about 7 y/o.

I can't wait till the neuropsychologist in June.

Although in the last few weeks difficult child 2 has been visiting BM again. So there may be a correlation.

 

[DramaQueenLucy]

DQL - I am dealing with this right now... 10 y/o (almost 11) has recently (last few WEEKS) started regressing to about 7 y/o.

I can't wait till the neuropsychologist in June.

Although in the last few weeks difficult child 2 has been visiting BM again. So there may be a correlation.

Maybe your difficult child is having issues dealing with BM since he has been seeing her again.

difficult child 2 has always had some of these behaviors but not to this exent....they seem to have intensified since he has come off of his medications but all of these things had been here before just not as bad....ugh

 

[aeroeng]

My "difficult child in training" is age 10, and still seems to have the maturity of a 7 yr old. This does cause social problems at school as he gets teased a lot by the kids in his fifth grade class for acting like a "baby". His best friend is a 7 yr old. I believe he is maturing, just not at the same rate, and that eventually he will grow up, just at his own pace. I don't want to add to the stresses he is already experiencing so I just let him be himself. If he comes over in the middle of the night, I snuggle, and I let him play with the younger toys without complaint. I do encourage and recognize any form of more mature behavior. And, I try to give him tasks that required independence. He does them well, but still seems to act like a 7 yr old.

Your child is probably different. Mine is not regressing, he never had the maturity. Regression may be something different. He could be jealous of other younger kids, he might want the kind of attention he had when he was younger, or he could be struggling with something that is bothering him. Has he had any traumatic experiences that might have triggered the behavior? A counselor might be a good idea.

 

[smallworld]

Lucy, he sounds anxious. Anything new or different in his life that would be causing him to feel that way?

Showing him anger and annoyance will actually increase anxiety. Providing him comfort within firm and friendly limits may ease his anxiety.

Good you're checking in with the therapist. Let us know what he says.

 

[DramaQueenLucy]

Lucy, he sounds anxious. Anything new or different in his life that would be causing him to feel that way?

Showing him anger and annoyance will actually increase anxiety. Providing him comfort within firm and friendly limits may ease his anxiety.

Good you're checking in with the therapist. Let us know what he says.

Thanks SW you always have great advice and can read between the lines so to say. I have been kind of going along with some of these behaviors like I don't kick him out of bed just talk to him the next day about why he did that. You maybe right about the anxiety maybe he is worried about the summer he doesn't do change well. I will let ya all knew what the therapist says. We are also going to the psychiatrist today maybe he needs something to deal with the changes...hum

 

[DDD]

There's almost always "a reason". Often, with difficult children in particular, it is darn hard to identify. Glad you have professional help available pronto. DDD

 

[Star*]

It has been our experience that Dude has NEVER acted his age. Lots of things happened in his life to stunt his emotional growth. At best, if he was literally 16 years of age he exhibited behaviors you would find annoying but almost acceptable in a 12 year old.

Our therapist told us that a lot of times with kids in therapy you strike a nerve. Sometimes it takes a while for the chemical properties in the brain to boomerang around to what was uncovered in therapy - but a lot of time in therapy we were told it would get worse before it got better - and the out of age appropriate play was his brains way of trying to right the wrongs. His internal brain mapping may be trying to fix itself.

It is not a permanent phase - but it's just a phase. It is also nearly impossible to tell exactly WHAT the brain is doing in a child like ours, but we were encouraged to let it ride and ignore the baby talk, treat the tantrums like you would any other bad behavior, when he crawled into bed with me? Find out what makes him uncomfortable about his room and then set a time limit on him staying - then escort him back to his bed. (Mostly because I was going through really stressful therapy too and needed my sleep and Dude was very restless then). I ended up painting a guardian dog at the door way to his room and we let our dog sleep with him. It helped a lot. ANd if he pulls it in school - just let the teacher know that you are working through some pretty tough issues in therapy and she may see some odd age inappropriate behaviors and if she did - to let you know.

Really - what you're seeing is annoying because your eyes SEE an 11 year old and his brain is momentarily (for whatever reason) stuck at his 5-6 years stage. I would talk to your therapist about it...and see what their advice is since they know your son personally.

 

[DramaQueenLucy]

back from todays round of appointments. psychiatrist & therapist agree that it is anxiety but psychiatrist wants more testing and has agreed to send difficult child 2 to the neuropsychologist for a full evaluation...woot he said not to worry about the insurance as it had to be approved but the neuropsychologist office knows how to get through to insurance. This is great news and I am calling first thing in the morning..woot

Also changed difficult child 2 medications to Strattera said that will help with the anxiety and adhd.