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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 725918" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh LBL, I'm sorry you're feeling any of that....however, I know how you feel. </p><p></p><p>And, I think not taking any action on your feelings right now shows great restraint and wisdom.</p><p></p><p>There are so many emotional tsunami's that we parents go thru on this path, it's treacherous to try to navigate thru these kinds of tumultuous waters all the time.....nothing is as it should be, it is always chaos, anger, fear, sorrow.....none of it typical, none of it what we expected. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I've done my share of feeling that way too. It sucks. It seems you are having to deal with the possible end of your parental dreams for your son....I hope it doesn't get to that, and that your son turns it around, he's still quite young so there is much hope....but the feelings you express are real.....we do have dreams for their lives, we have expectations, hopes......and if it continues down the same road, accepting that road and letting our dreams go is definitely a part of this process. I've had to do it and it is hard. I hope you don't. Your anger is a natural response to how our kids behave and what we have to let go of.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I so understand this statement. I only have one child too. And, my relationship with her is NOTHING like I expected. I have had to learn to build my life in a very different way. And, LBL, it is very sad. I'm so sorry.</p><p></p><p>As I said, your son is still young so it very well may change for you. I sure hope it does. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm not sure I believe that although I do feel similarly at times. I believe they are heavily influenced by mental illness or drugs, which alters everything.....but their actions at times certainly suggest that they just don't care. It still hurts though.</p><p></p><p>This too shall pass.....and you'll move onto another level of acceptance......these feelings are all a part of that process of acceptance.....it ain't easy, but you know what LBL? It's doable. There is life after all of it. A different life for sure....but one with peace and joy in it regardless of what our kids are doing or not doing. You're moving in that direction. Unfortunately, this is what it looks like right now, but this will change too.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. It hurts, I know. Do kind and nourishing things for yourself.....take care of YOU now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 725918, member: 13542"] Oh LBL, I'm sorry you're feeling any of that....however, I know how you feel. And, I think not taking any action on your feelings right now shows great restraint and wisdom. There are so many emotional tsunami's that we parents go thru on this path, it's treacherous to try to navigate thru these kinds of tumultuous waters all the time.....nothing is as it should be, it is always chaos, anger, fear, sorrow.....none of it typical, none of it what we expected. I've done my share of feeling that way too. It sucks. It seems you are having to deal with the possible end of your parental dreams for your son....I hope it doesn't get to that, and that your son turns it around, he's still quite young so there is much hope....but the feelings you express are real.....we do have dreams for their lives, we have expectations, hopes......and if it continues down the same road, accepting that road and letting our dreams go is definitely a part of this process. I've had to do it and it is hard. I hope you don't. Your anger is a natural response to how our kids behave and what we have to let go of. I so understand this statement. I only have one child too. And, my relationship with her is NOTHING like I expected. I have had to learn to build my life in a very different way. And, LBL, it is very sad. I'm so sorry. As I said, your son is still young so it very well may change for you. I sure hope it does. I'm not sure I believe that although I do feel similarly at times. I believe they are heavily influenced by mental illness or drugs, which alters everything.....but their actions at times certainly suggest that they just don't care. It still hurts though. This too shall pass.....and you'll move onto another level of acceptance......these feelings are all a part of that process of acceptance.....it ain't easy, but you know what LBL? It's doable. There is life after all of it. A different life for sure....but one with peace and joy in it regardless of what our kids are doing or not doing. You're moving in that direction. Unfortunately, this is what it looks like right now, but this will change too. Hang in there. It hurts, I know. Do kind and nourishing things for yourself.....take care of YOU now. [/QUOTE]
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