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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 725951" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Susie </p><p>I have an ache in my heart and I know I need something to fill this void. I have been self employed for the past 10 years and it has had its ups and downs. Ultimately I love what I do and I am very good at it. It just hasn’t been very nourishing for my soul. I made a decision to do something more meaningful. I accepted a nursing Supervisor position for outpatient infusion clinics for chemotherapy and rare diseases. I start January 8th. I will do my aesthetics on a casual basis and still teach once a month. I am looking forward to this Change. </p><p></p><p>After this shift is under my belt I fully intent to do something for me. Weather I take a class or volunteer I will be doing something. </p><p></p><p>Like your mother I fell apart earlier this year. My husband and I separated as well this was a short time before I found this forum. It was a dark time and as I look back I almost feel like I am looking at someone else’s story. My </p><p>husband did. It want to own any of the trauma and heart ache and we were not unified in any way regarding our son. It was best that we be apart when we were it made a tremendous amount of difference and strengthened who we are and what we have today.</p><p></p><p>My husband is different than I am. He can emerge hijaqlf in projects and activities and distance himself from the chaos very easily. Sometimes too easily. </p><p></p><p>I am like the moth to the flame who has gotten singed and stuck to the mesh screen of the trap. Neither fully alive or dead but stuck. Seeing the bliss of freeing my mind from the chaos like my husband can do. And seeing the impending disaster in front of me, this will be my demise if I obsess over my son. </p><p></p><p>I lilike the the idea of volunteering. I do volunteer annually for a weekend long Cancer dubs raiser. It keeps me busy from spring until the end of June. As a matter of fact I took my son 2 yers ago so he could accumulate his volunteer credits for school and To try to get him interested in cycling. </p><p></p><p>I like the idea of volunteering with children. That is something I never thought of. Once I have my bearings from the new job start and getting son through rehab or getting on with his life. I may reach out to you for some ideas. </p><p>Thanks for your kind words. </p><p></p><p>I have had a very hard time with anxiety over the past few days. Usually I can control it but these episodes lasted a long time and I found them very frightening. I was angry that my son had created this chaos. I still am. I am hoping for better days ahead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 725951, member: 21895"] Susie I have an ache in my heart and I know I need something to fill this void. I have been self employed for the past 10 years and it has had its ups and downs. Ultimately I love what I do and I am very good at it. It just hasn’t been very nourishing for my soul. I made a decision to do something more meaningful. I accepted a nursing Supervisor position for outpatient infusion clinics for chemotherapy and rare diseases. I start January 8th. I will do my aesthetics on a casual basis and still teach once a month. I am looking forward to this Change. After this shift is under my belt I fully intent to do something for me. Weather I take a class or volunteer I will be doing something. Like your mother I fell apart earlier this year. My husband and I separated as well this was a short time before I found this forum. It was a dark time and as I look back I almost feel like I am looking at someone else’s story. My husband did. It want to own any of the trauma and heart ache and we were not unified in any way regarding our son. It was best that we be apart when we were it made a tremendous amount of difference and strengthened who we are and what we have today. My husband is different than I am. He can emerge hijaqlf in projects and activities and distance himself from the chaos very easily. Sometimes too easily. I am like the moth to the flame who has gotten singed and stuck to the mesh screen of the trap. Neither fully alive or dead but stuck. Seeing the bliss of freeing my mind from the chaos like my husband can do. And seeing the impending disaster in front of me, this will be my demise if I obsess over my son. I lilike the the idea of volunteering. I do volunteer annually for a weekend long Cancer dubs raiser. It keeps me busy from spring until the end of June. As a matter of fact I took my son 2 yers ago so he could accumulate his volunteer credits for school and To try to get him interested in cycling. I like the idea of volunteering with children. That is something I never thought of. Once I have my bearings from the new job start and getting son through rehab or getting on with his life. I may reach out to you for some ideas. Thanks for your kind words. I have had a very hard time with anxiety over the past few days. Usually I can control it but these episodes lasted a long time and I found them very frightening. I was angry that my son had created this chaos. I still am. I am hoping for better days ahead. [/QUOTE]
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