Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Rock bottom for parents of difficult children? Do we need to hit it?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="JKL" data-source="post: 763440" data-attributes="member: 30759"><p>I replied earlier today, about 24 hours after realizing we (husband and me) are in the category of being as addicted to our son as he is to alcohol, abusive behavior, lies, and loving his narcissistic personality traits. On his 19th birthday, his roommate at a UC campus put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Gun misfired and he escaped. Got to police who locked him up while gunman got away. No lockdown. No support for our son, a victim nor his roommates (a suite of five kids). Son changed. Started distancing. Slowly over the next 8 years. Working in science, doing incredible things, we thought he was ok. He moves to Europe. We visit him there and find him drinking excessively each of the 3 days. We leave early in the am. He doesn't get up to say goodbye. The start of 20+ years of pain. In 2019, he is kicked out of his home in Singapore by his wife when she found he was unfaithful. He calls us. First time in over a decade. He flies home to stay with us. Horrible!!!!!! We give him money to leave. He met a girl on Tinder the night before flying home. He stays in CA for 3 weeks and flies back to Asia to take her to dinner. They have been together ever since. We hear stories of all the jobs that WILL be offered. For 9 months we send him money. We are retired teachers with little income. We use our savings. He gets big contracts around the world, but maybe 2 a year at most. He flies someplace and does the work in 10 days and gets enough to live on. He talks tough. Loves to wear a knife. No guns anymore. Another long story. A year ago, intuition said to stop all virtual contact. We did. Summer comes and text messages get stranger. We tell him not to contact us. He abuses us in words. We are afraid of him. Suddenly his 'wife' sends cute photos after months of silence. Then comes the pitch. Neither of them will get paid for contract work until next quarter. They are desperate. Send us the same money you sent before, put it in his account. This from a woman who lied to us a year ago about his health and a detox he was doing by himself outside of a hospital. I said NO. HIs father wrote a scathing email to both of them. I canceled my Whatsapp account. I'm scared for my son. I was fooled. In his 20-year disappearance, we didn't see the changes. He is an alcoholic. He lies. He uses us. Tonight, 2o hours after my husband's rebuttal, I feel sick. Super high BiPolar (BP) and chest pains. Won't go to ER due to COVID beds. I am mentally ill from this. I was a super educator. Full of optimism. Now, I just want to die. I'm 82. Husband is 87. Our son disappeared 30 years ago. Nothing will bring him back. He is in a country that has no help for the hungry. He will be evicted and on the street with no way out. Unless we send him money and enable him. We refuse. But, it is making me sick and may take my life. Thank you to anyone who reads this. I'm new to this siet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKL, post: 763440, member: 30759"] I replied earlier today, about 24 hours after realizing we (husband and me) are in the category of being as addicted to our son as he is to alcohol, abusive behavior, lies, and loving his narcissistic personality traits. On his 19th birthday, his roommate at a UC campus put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Gun misfired and he escaped. Got to police who locked him up while gunman got away. No lockdown. No support for our son, a victim nor his roommates (a suite of five kids). Son changed. Started distancing. Slowly over the next 8 years. Working in science, doing incredible things, we thought he was ok. He moves to Europe. We visit him there and find him drinking excessively each of the 3 days. We leave early in the am. He doesn't get up to say goodbye. The start of 20+ years of pain. In 2019, he is kicked out of his home in Singapore by his wife when she found he was unfaithful. He calls us. First time in over a decade. He flies home to stay with us. Horrible!!!!!! We give him money to leave. He met a girl on Tinder the night before flying home. He stays in CA for 3 weeks and flies back to Asia to take her to dinner. They have been together ever since. We hear stories of all the jobs that WILL be offered. For 9 months we send him money. We are retired teachers with little income. We use our savings. He gets big contracts around the world, but maybe 2 a year at most. He flies someplace and does the work in 10 days and gets enough to live on. He talks tough. Loves to wear a knife. No guns anymore. Another long story. A year ago, intuition said to stop all virtual contact. We did. Summer comes and text messages get stranger. We tell him not to contact us. He abuses us in words. We are afraid of him. Suddenly his 'wife' sends cute photos after months of silence. Then comes the pitch. Neither of them will get paid for contract work until next quarter. They are desperate. Send us the same money you sent before, put it in his account. This from a woman who lied to us a year ago about his health and a detox he was doing by himself outside of a hospital. I said NO. HIs father wrote a scathing email to both of them. I canceled my Whatsapp account. I'm scared for my son. I was fooled. In his 20-year disappearance, we didn't see the changes. He is an alcoholic. He lies. He uses us. Tonight, 2o hours after my husband's rebuttal, I feel sick. Super high BiPolar (BP) and chest pains. Won't go to ER due to COVID beds. I am mentally ill from this. I was a super educator. Full of optimism. Now, I just want to die. I'm 82. Husband is 87. Our son disappeared 30 years ago. Nothing will bring him back. He is in a country that has no help for the hungry. He will be evicted and on the street with no way out. Unless we send him money and enable him. We refuse. But, it is making me sick and may take my life. Thank you to anyone who reads this. I'm new to this siet. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Rock bottom for parents of difficult children? Do we need to hit it?
Top