Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Run out of options
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Percy" data-source="post: 706345" data-attributes="member: 21263"><p>I do concur that in this situation homeschooling may be making things harder. And I am a homeschooling parent (5 kids, homeschooled them all, for varying amounts of time, up until entry to high school, at which time they went to public high school); so I am not slamming homeschooling or online schooling as a matter of principle -- I think it can be great, for some kids, at some times in their education. But I think with a teen that is oppositional and defiant with parents, adding one more thing that the parents direct, control, manage, dictate, enforce etc. is not good. I think you need to strip down the things you as a parent direct and enforce to the essentials (no drugs, mental health, physical health, house rules and values, accountability and responsibility -- or whatever else you put in this category for your son/your family), and create some space to not be in charge of his schoolwork. I'm trying not to superimpose my own situation on yours, but this is what I wish, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, that I had done with my oldest, ODD child. Not having one more thing that you berate him about, punish him for, chase him about, chastise him for, might be helpful. And, keep in mind it isn't the worst thing in the world if it takes a kid 5 years to graduate from high school, i.e. if he has to repeat this year. Better that you solve the problems that only get worse if you don't address them. Because I believe you are in the USA, and one of the great things about America (compared to other countries I lived in) is that there are 2nd and 3rd chances in education, there are do-overs. Maybe it won't be optimal as you imagined and hoped for in a do-over, but the door to higher education is never closed here - people get GEDs, go to Community College, transfer to college etc. and some don't do it on the typical timeline. (And this is from someone who DID do it just like in the fairy tale, and has an undergrad and a graduate degree, and a law degree, from Ivy League schools --- but who has learned there are many paths to the top of the mountain, and who has child with perfect score on the SAT...and a GED. It took me quite a while to adjust. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ). Don't make graduation from high school or schoolwork the holy grail -- make your son's health and welfare, and issues that brought you to this site, and your relationship with him, the priorities...for now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Percy, post: 706345, member: 21263"] I do concur that in this situation homeschooling may be making things harder. And I am a homeschooling parent (5 kids, homeschooled them all, for varying amounts of time, up until entry to high school, at which time they went to public high school); so I am not slamming homeschooling or online schooling as a matter of principle -- I think it can be great, for some kids, at some times in their education. But I think with a teen that is oppositional and defiant with parents, adding one more thing that the parents direct, control, manage, dictate, enforce etc. is not good. I think you need to strip down the things you as a parent direct and enforce to the essentials (no drugs, mental health, physical health, house rules and values, accountability and responsibility -- or whatever else you put in this category for your son/your family), and create some space to not be in charge of his schoolwork. I'm trying not to superimpose my own situation on yours, but this is what I wish, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, that I had done with my oldest, ODD child. Not having one more thing that you berate him about, punish him for, chase him about, chastise him for, might be helpful. And, keep in mind it isn't the worst thing in the world if it takes a kid 5 years to graduate from high school, i.e. if he has to repeat this year. Better that you solve the problems that only get worse if you don't address them. Because I believe you are in the USA, and one of the great things about America (compared to other countries I lived in) is that there are 2nd and 3rd chances in education, there are do-overs. Maybe it won't be optimal as you imagined and hoped for in a do-over, but the door to higher education is never closed here - people get GEDs, go to Community College, transfer to college etc. and some don't do it on the typical timeline. (And this is from someone who DID do it just like in the fairy tale, and has an undergrad and a graduate degree, and a law degree, from Ivy League schools --- but who has learned there are many paths to the top of the mountain, and who has child with perfect score on the SAT...and a GED. It took me quite a while to adjust. :) ). Don't make graduation from high school or schoolwork the holy grail -- make your son's health and welfare, and issues that brought you to this site, and your relationship with him, the priorities...for now. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Run out of options
Top