Seen my son

Helpless29

Active Member
I seen my son today , he was able to get a pandemic link card it was mailed to my house , so he came to pick it up. I noticed bruises fading on his face . I asked him what happened, I guess the gang set him up , I thought things were cleared with them but apparently not , he still owed them money for the lost gun. One of the guys who he thought he was good friends with , asked him to hang out , he went there & 6 guys jumped him , he said if he didn’t get away they wouldn’t have stopped. The details of what they did to him horrified me , they could of killed him or left him for dead if he didn’t escape. My mind is running with all different images of what he went through . He did tell me work was going good & his friends family was going to help him get a lawyer , so he can fix his legal issues & turn himself in so could be done with his legal problems & they been helping him save his money . I don't know if it’s true but it’s what he’s telling me & acourse he throws little jabs in about how much they care about him & accept him .I’m grateful there helping him & I’m glad his visit was short cuz it was a lot to take in , in such a small amount of time.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Helpless

I'm sorry that your son is still on a bad track. Key words here are gang, gun etc.

He is living on the edge right now and you only know the tip of the iceberg I'm sure. That's what they reveal to us. The rest is much darker and it's hard to go there in our minds. Why do they do it? I wish I knew. No mom wants to see their child put themselves in such danger with drugs and all the things that go along with that lifestyle. My son revealed a part of life to me that I wanted absolutely nothing to do with and I did not want to know about. I do not understand what the draw of this is.

My husband and I were a little wild when we were young but compared to what our son did, it was nothing!!

There are no "good friends" when drugs are involved. Everyone is out for themselves.

I'm glad he has a job and a friend that seem to be looking out for him but that is also questionable because of the lifestyle he is living. I do hope that he realizes that he doesn't want this constant chaos in his life and decides to really get his life on track. My son was a mess until almost age 22 I think. He finally got tired of all the trouble he caused himself and not being part of our family anymore.

Remember that there is nothing you can do to control another person's behavior. All your suffering won't help him at all (or I know we'd gladly do it) and it certainly won't help you or your husband and younger children. I am so glad that I cared for myself and my marriage during this horrible time in our lives. I did not do it right away but I did finally figure it out with lots of therapy. It has helped me in so many other aspects of my life too. However the suffering that my son caused me changed me forever and I feel like I lost years of my life that would have otherwise been very happy and I do resent that.

We are here for you. Prayers for your son and your family.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Your son has in front of him two very clear paths: towards good and towards bad. The gang has only hurt him. The family is guiding, supporting, and helping him to live with responsibility and with accountability. There was no other way this could have gone, given the poor choices he was making. It seems he is paying attention, and in one sense, what happened with the gang is a good thing, because how in the world can he think this is a good way to live if they almost kill him?

I am so very sorry that you've had to go through this, but just maybe he will make it right legally.

I don't understand why he doesn't pay the gang for the weapon if he's working. It doesn't make sense. But he's the one who has to figure this out. I am glad you've checked in helpless.
 
Last edited:

Helpless29

Active Member
Your son has in front of him two very clear paths: towards good and towards bad. The gang has only hurt him and involving him potentially in more problems with the law. The family is guiding, supporting, and helping him to live with responsibility and with accountability. There was no other way this could have gone, given the poor choices he was making. It seems he is paying attention, and in one sense, what happened with the gang is a good thing, because how in the world can he think this is a good way to live if they almost kill him?

I am so very sorry that you've had to go through this, but just maybe he will make it right legally.

I don't understand why he doesn't pay the gang for the weapon if he's working. It doesn't make sense. But he's the one who has to figure this out. I am glad you've checked in helpless.
He did learn a lesson,. He said he will never go back to the gang or that area or group .They did take his wallet with money , he had just got paid & had $600 on him , so hopefully this will be the end. They have no idea where he lives & where he’s at is far away from them . I thank god every night that he got away or I think they would of killed him .
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am both hopeful and sad for your son. He is very young which helps.

Your son didn't pay for the gun because gangs don't just let you pay up and go away, like a business deal that is completed. Like RN said you only know the tip of the ice berg. We never know the worst and for me I am glad. Take whatever you hear with a grain of salt. Words are easy. Actions speak more than words.

Do get help for yourself. This is too hard to do alone

Hugs and love.
 
Top