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Family of Origin
Self-Forgiveness
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 667521" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I believe I have done this too.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>Now, this is tough for me. This is the hard part. I am feeling very sad and bad because of this latest issue involving censorship. It is hard not to feel wrong. Shut up. Silenced. Shamed. Shunned. I feel on the verge of tears.</p><p></p><p>I am afraid because, still, the powers that be have something I need and want. I need and want this work. By inserting a power relation in it, that can muzzle me, make me bad, I am not safe. The choices are to stop and leave, or to continue and be censored.</p><p></p><p>There are no other remedies. This is the nature of a power over relationship. I accept it. Then why do I feel so sad and bad? Why not angry?</p><p>Yes, as we were accused.</p><p>Yes.</p><p>It can be. But I think the learning here is that nothing is gained by it. Rather we lose part of our best selves.</p><p></p><p>When I insist upon seeing my sister as an abuser, I put myself in the role of her victim. When I want the best for her, I liberate myself from the need to be her jailer or accuser<em> in my own mind. I no longer have to be in conversation with her. She is speaking in another language. I have my own. Anything I say to her in my own mind...where I return to speak her language...diminishes me. I choose not to do it. I will speak in my own language. As did Joseph.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>I can apply the same thinking to this current situation. </em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 667521, member: 18958"] I believe I have done this too. Yes. Now, this is tough for me. This is the hard part. I am feeling very sad and bad because of this latest issue involving censorship. It is hard not to feel wrong. Shut up. Silenced. Shamed. Shunned. I feel on the verge of tears. I am afraid because, still, the powers that be have something I need and want. I need and want this work. By inserting a power relation in it, that can muzzle me, make me bad, I am not safe. The choices are to stop and leave, or to continue and be censored. There are no other remedies. This is the nature of a power over relationship. I accept it. Then why do I feel so sad and bad? Why not angry? Yes, as we were accused. Yes. It can be. But I think the learning here is that nothing is gained by it. Rather we lose part of our best selves. When I insist upon seeing my sister as an abuser, I put myself in the role of her victim. When I want the best for her, I liberate myself from the need to be her jailer or accuser[I] in my own mind. I no longer have to be in conversation with her. She is speaking in another language. I have my own. Anything I say to her in my own mind...where I return to speak her language...diminishes me. I choose not to do it. I will speak in my own language. As did Joseph. I can apply the same thinking to this current situation. [/I] [/QUOTE]
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