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Sick to my stomach
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618116" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Aud, please don't feel guilty. Maybe it isn't true. Our kids lie to make us guilty. Even if it was, he didn't tell you so how could you guess? My daughter was assaulted and didn't tell me for years and I couldn't have prevented it...she was at a friend's house that had always been a safe place for her until a drunken visitor showed up...not everyone who is assaulted destroys his life. Your son was already making bad choices when that happened.</p><p></p><p>It took me years to learn this, but I will no longer listen to my kids tell me about all the things they think I did wrong in an attempt to make me feel guilty. As soon as that starts, I have to get off the phone and I hang up before t hey can say anything else. Example: "Oh, sorry, somebody's at the door. Bye." Radio silence. Why engage them in the "you owe me your life because you made a mistake" game? Why rehash it, fuel their rage (which is usually over the top) and what on earth does it accomplish except for them to justify a wasted life? Nothing good comes of it. It is just letting them have a forum to be a victim and, on top of it, blame YOU for their bad choices.</p><p></p><p>Keep standing strong. I know it's hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618116, member: 1550"] Aud, please don't feel guilty. Maybe it isn't true. Our kids lie to make us guilty. Even if it was, he didn't tell you so how could you guess? My daughter was assaulted and didn't tell me for years and I couldn't have prevented it...she was at a friend's house that had always been a safe place for her until a drunken visitor showed up...not everyone who is assaulted destroys his life. Your son was already making bad choices when that happened. It took me years to learn this, but I will no longer listen to my kids tell me about all the things they think I did wrong in an attempt to make me feel guilty. As soon as that starts, I have to get off the phone and I hang up before t hey can say anything else. Example: "Oh, sorry, somebody's at the door. Bye." Radio silence. Why engage them in the "you owe me your life because you made a mistake" game? Why rehash it, fuel their rage (which is usually over the top) and what on earth does it accomplish except for them to justify a wasted life? Nothing good comes of it. It is just letting them have a forum to be a victim and, on top of it, blame YOU for their bad choices. Keep standing strong. I know it's hard. [/QUOTE]
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