Sliding backwards...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by butterflydreams, Aug 29, 2008.

  1. Well, for the last 3 weeks difficult child has lost a level EVERY single week. I will be talking to the nurse tonight when I go see difficult child to find out what happened this week (the last 2 weeks have been lots of oppositional behavior, trouble staying on task, being disruptive). 3 weeks ago, we were discussing difficult child being able to spend the whole labor day weekend at home, now 3 weeks later, he doesn't even get ANY kind of pass this weekend. He is sliding backwards, very oppositional. His therapist on Monday said she felt this too. I know that they expect the kids to somewhat fall backwards, I figured a week here or there, but this is 3 weeks in a row. As of Monday, he will have been in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) 2 months. So I guess his honeymoon lasted 6 weeks. His level this week is 1:1, so he gets to start all over again! I am glad though, that they are seeing the behavior that he is exhibiting instead of the "oh he's a good kid, never gives us any problems" kid that he was for 6 weeks.

    On Monday, during his therapy session, the therapist asked him about why he lost levels the past 2 weeks. He revealed that he sometimes gets bored and then does things to get attention. He also revealed that sometimes when he is bored (they could be in the gym playing or on the unit) he will aggravate someone so that they scream at him or yell and they get into trouble. My jaw dropped open at this and the therapist just sat back in her chair, she said "you mean to tell me that you deliberately do something that will lead to someone else getting in trouble?" he said "well its not like it was level 4's" she said "oh so its the kids at lower levels?" keep in mind, this last week he was himself one of those lower levels. All the while he was telling this to us he had his hand over his mouth, he was smiling and was trying to suppress a laugh. When we started telling him that it wasn't funny and definitely not nice, he then started to backpeddle and say that was not what he was saying.

    All I can do is shake my head.
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so sorry you have lost this weekend with difficult child. His behavior certainly is frustrating.

    Did the therapist ask him to come up with more postive ways to get attention? Maybe asking for someone to play a game with him or help him with something or just ask to talk with someone? Let him know there is nothing wrong with wanting attention every now and then but there are appropriate ways in getting it than causing problems. Ask him what he can do if he can not get the attention at that moment - ask for a book to read, journal about the day, write about future plans, write how to meet goals he is working on?

    Are you able to send mail to him? I would use that as a way of giving him some positive attention. You can send him cheery notes - funny cards to make him laugh - thinking of you cards - cards with words of wisdom - keep the messages very short, if too long, he will not read them. One sentence notes will work a few times a week. To save postage, hand a bundle of pre-addressed cards to the staff to dole out one a day or so.
  3. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    I'm glad he is done honeymooning--this is actually good news, you may get some real answers now.
  4. Adrianne, his therapist did talk to him about how better to utilize his time, reminded him of things he can do, or what he should do if he feels he needs some attention.

    I like the idea of note cards.

    Janebrain, I agree on the done with honeymooning thing. I spoke with one of the nurses last night when I went to see difficult child. She said that overall he is doing really good. He has a lot of problems with impulsivity and that usually gets him into trouble. She says he will get it.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Butterfly, so sorry he's lost so many levels, but maybe that's what he has to do to learn. Sounds like you're on top of things.