So, how did you...

[AnnieO]

difficult child 1 has known about this from an extremely early age - BM took her and difficult child 2 to boyfriends' homes for overnights, even before she left husband - isn't that nice - and BM has always been extremely vocal about sexual issues.

So difficult child 2 has ignored it, but difficult child 1 had some pretty odd beliefs. Fortunately I was able to simultaneously embarrass her and push the idea that I was approachable about it, so we've talked quite a bit. I'm the one she came to in early February about birth control...

And of course she was molested by BM's boyfriend/fiance/whatever.

And then she got caught having intercourse with her "boyfriend" in February (4 days after she started the pills... Invicibility complex I do believe), and then the issue this past weekend in the mall.

Being open is a good thing. However she's gotten the idea (likely from BM) that it's OK to be promiscuous. It's cool. And I just don't get it, although I know I wasn't exactly careful when I was younger (not THAT young, though). Low self-esteem has a lot to do with it, too.

As long as I don't put things in a context of me-and-husband, difficult child 1 is cool talking about it. The second it turns into "parent sex" it gets creepy and she clams up. Strangely enough - husband and difficult child 1 discuss it too. Same thing!

 

[DammitJanet]

Step2...parents dont have sex. It is just a given. Jamie covers his ears and goes...waaawaaawaaa...I dont wanna hear this!

But on the other side, my father called me one day probably 10 years ago now to tell me he had a bump on his privates! He woke me at 7 am to tell me this...lol. He was getting the medical book out to see if it was cancer! I told him it was probably an ingrown hair or a yeast infection but to go to the doctor. I was so grossed out that my dad who was in his 70s would call me to talk about his winky!!!!

 

[trinityroyal]

Gosh, this thread is timely. Little easy child is starting to get mighty inquisitive about sexual things, and I`m just not prepared for this yet. He`s only 7 (waaaaaah!)

So far, I`ve been addressing his questions specifically, but haven`t sat him down for the full-on talk about sex. I think the time is coming soon, as his questions are getting more in-depth. Maybe giving him a book geared for boys his age, that he can explore at his own pace is the right approach.

When I was about 4, I was given a book. It was explicit but not graphic, and answered all my questions so that I never had to ask the difficult child-parents any questions about sex. I remember when difficult child-mom gave me the talk. It went exactly like this:

difficult child-mom: `Trinity, do you know what a penis is?`
Trinity: `Yes Mummy`
difficult child-mom: `Well, don`t ever let one anywhere near you!`

Not the best example from which to learn how to talk to my own kids about these things...Sigh.

 

[DammitJanet]

OMG Trinity...lmao. That is just so hilarious.

I never got the talk. I remember thinking I was dying when I got my first period. No one ever told me it would happen. I remember seeing napkins in my moms bathroom but I had no idea what they were for. Ok..yeah I was naive. I was very sheltered and in a private, church run school when I had my first period. I really freaked out. I didnt know who to tell.

Not long after that someone told me about intercourse in graphic terms. I cant remember now if they were right or wrong. All my life I had wanted to have 10 kids because I was an only child. When I heard what you had to do to have a kid...omg...I swore that I would never do that so I would have to adopt kids...lol. Look how long that idea lasted! Not even two years...lmao!

 

[AnnieO]

Janet, they do too! I know! I think the best lesson I got was at the age of 23 when I walked in on my parents in their kitchen. EWWWWWWWWWW!

But only twice. Then and when I was conceived.

My Mom gave me a book. I remember it was tan with red and orange lettering. Didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I'm surprised I didn't get into a lot of trouble as a teen.

Of course, I was so not prepared 5 years ago when she asked me how my sex life with husband was going...

 

[Lothlorien]

TM, I'm glad you put this out, because I am getting ready to have "the talk" too. She's been asking a lot of questions and I've been putting off until she turned 9. I figured that was the turning point and I have to force myself to do it. When she asks the questions, it has been at inappropriate times to have opened up the discussion. I guess I'll get to the book store in the next week or so.