Somebody called CPS on me and now I'm worried

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
Write down everything that has transpired. Call and make an appointment with the superintendent of the district. Put on your most professional outfit and present him with your beautifully typed up "concerns". Let him know that if your concerns are not addressed, he will be contacted by your attorney. You might also want to contact the state board of education and lodge a formal complaint against the principal and the district. Do this immediately. If you fear for your job, let it be known that any retaliation by school employees will be met with legal action. Take back your power.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Disagree, pasajes4. My mucho experience shows that the Superintendant of any district (we've dealt with a few) are all one big happy family and that they will side with their schools.

I do like the idea of going to the state's Public Board of Education. They are neutral, helpful, powerful, and have helped us tons. Just going to somebody else in the district has never done squat for us and so far has not helped CB either. Go higher.

Didn't mean your idea was bad. Most people don't realize how much the districts cover their own tails.

CB, are you in a union? If so, contact them too. They didn't really do anything for my daughter who worked as a part-time teacher at a Community College, however I would definitely talk to them. Some school unions are fantastic; others not so much. See what yours is like. Don't be afraid to make waves. You are being harassed in a very mean way.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
I am just afraid that if I make waves difficult child's school life will be a living hell. Believe it or not, she actually likes this school. If she didn't have these darned medical issues I think she would be doing much better.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
If you're going to type up a list of concerns, bullet point them or number the issues. It keeps each issue separate, short and sweet. Offer no opinions as to why someone may or may not have done anything, only what they did or didn't do.
 
S

Signorina

Guest
CaliforniaBlonde - I share the outrage of your fellow warrior moms. Do not let them bully you and your daughter has the right to stay in a school where she is thriving - despite anything the principal may threaten.

I was tried to look up truancy code in CA and didn't find it - but I did find this link to a law office in Sacramento that specializes in representing parents who are having difficulty with their children's schools. I am by no means suggesting you use this attorney nor am I endorsing her. But she DOES have a lot of legal tips, advice, newsletters etc and a blog that focuses on education and student law and student rights in California. Here's the link to her blog -- http://edlaw4students.blogspot.com/ It may give you the "right language" to use when you respond to the school admins and your difficult child's school. I hope it helps.

Good luck and do not let it get you down. {hugs}
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am just afraid that if I make waves difficult child's school life will be a living hell. Believe it or not, she actually likes this school. If she didn't have these darned medical issues I think she would be doing much better.
Actually, the opposite happened with my kids. They didn't want to deal with me, so they treated my kids really well. What you are doing now isn't working for you OR your daughter. I always think if something isn't working, try something new. Not making waves will get you exactly where you are now. That's fine, if you want to stay there. If you won't try anything else, well, you already know how it is...and how it will be...they will walk all over you and possibly even intrude in your life. And your daughter will not get the help she needs. It would look awfully bad for them and to the Dept. of Public Education, who funds them, if they suddenly started picking on your daughter after you asked for the Dept of Education's help. They aren't stupid and can put two and two together and investigate. Trust me, your district is afraid of the DPE. Their state money is dependent on their grace. They are glad you won't go there. And they won't pick on your daughter if you go for extra help. They don't want to have to explain things to the state Dept. of Public Education. Otherwise, you are just talking to the same ole gang at your school district and they won't do anything to one another.

You need to call the Dept. of Public Education in your state to find out who your free advocate is. You can't fight this alone or keep doing what you are doing and expect different results. Advocates make your school meetings instantly more honest and respectful. They go with you and know the state law like the back of their hand so your school district can't give you a snow job or tell you off like you are a child. The school districts are on their best behavior around them as they also have power. You need some power on your side.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
The principal told me yesterday that she was going to give difficult child five days of cuts unless I could provide a doctor's note.

Is that a school rule? That if they are out a certain number of days they must have a doctor's note, or they'll be counted as truant regardless of what the parent says? Because if it's NOT, then they are quite simply calling YOU a liar and treating your daughter differently than they do every other child there.

If that's the case, then call the board of education. Call the superintendent of schools. Call the Governor if you have to. Work your way up the ladder to the top. This principal is on my last nerve and I don't even have to deal with the wicked witch. Seriously, if they are imposing a rule on you that they do not have in their policy or impose on the rest of the students, you are being bullied and treated unfairly. Make a fuss!

I am just afraid that if I make waves difficult child's school life will be a living hell.

As opposed to what it is now? Where there is a principal calling you both liars and accusing you of neglect, who comes into your home and STEALS from you, who calls you at work and berates you?

It would look awfully bad for them and to the Dept. of Public Education, who funds them, if they suddenly started picking on your daughter after you asked for the Dept of Education's help.

Yes. Do not worry about them picking on her more. You two are already being picked on! It can only get better!
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
Well I talked to one of my bosses today and she said what the principal is doing is outright unacceptable. She told me that she only makes house calls herself if a student has been missing from school and she is unable to locate any of the family members by telephone. I am always 100 percent accessible by phone and this lady knows the phone number to the school where I work so she had no reason to make a house call in the first place.

My boss was absolutely shocked when I told her that this principal came and took my daughter's laptop. She told me it's MY property and the principal was basically stealing. She pretty much backed up and confirmed everything all of you ladies have said here. She is going to find out who is the highest on the chain so I can make a formal complaint. Tonight the social worker comes so I need extra good vibes and prayers. Right now I'm sitting at work terrified to go home!
 
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Lil

Well-Known Member
I'm sure you've cleaned and stashed all your stuff. Clutter is not a crime, nor is it neglect. If it's not filthy, it should be just fine.

If they ask anything about how much school she's missed (because I expect the principal is the one who called CPS) you tell them exactly what you've told us. She gets migraines, she's had the flu, it happens. You are doing everything you can to get your children education and assistance.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Didn't mean your idea was bad. Most people don't realize how much the districts cover their own tails.
mwm is right on this one... school administrators and school boards don't want to look bad, so they try to make anyone outside the system look bad if they have to (sorry, its been our experience). Ministry of education is also staffed by edu-technicrats. But at least the person wearing the public face is political and has something to lose.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
I cleaned pretty good and organized the clutter into neat piles so I'm not too concerned about her saying anything about my apartment. I am more concerned with her seeing all of us in a one bedroom apartment and her taking my kids away in her car and forcing them to move into their dad's. I am on a waiting list at my complex for a two bedroom apartment but the list is huge since we live in a low income place. There are a lot of us out here who don't make much money and need affordable housing. Anyway, that's my biggest fear and I'm on pins and needles waiting for this visit.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Just tell her. They can't take away kids because you are poor. That's discrimination. If you have a sofa bed you can start sleeping there or putting son there. But they can't remove a child due to poverty or many kids would be taken. I have been a foster parent once for three years and we read many case reports. Every single child was removed because of one of three things: substance abuse that has gone on even after intervention, over and over again, neglectful like a six year old is babysitting for her two year old twin brothers and they were all found in garbage cans looking for food at 3am, and physical/sexual violence against the child. Those were th e reasons we read over and over again. Nothing about "the apartment is too small" or "too many people live there."

If it helps, I'll briefly share with you a story of one little foster baby we had and loved. She eventually went to live with her very poor but well-meaning aunt who had ALL of her nieces and nephews living in her home because the others were all drug abusers many times over. They lived in a small apartment with two bedrooms, tops, and there were at least five kids there and this baby was going to be one more. The only thing stopping her from getting her niece baby was that she didn't have a crib for her. If was really stupid. So we drove the crib we'd used for this child to auntie's house and the baby went home. Nothing was mentioned about all of the people there with only two bedrooms. Sometimes her son, the father, slept on the couch there too.

There was absolutely no air conditioning or fans in the stifling heat of summer so we also bought her a few window fans to cool off the kids. It is NOT easy to lose your children.
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
I hope you're right, Midwest Mom. I am sitting here panicking at work scared to go home. I am going to have easy child clean out the litter box, have difficult child clean the counters, and I am going to sweep and mom when I get home. I am have just enough time to take a bath and half a Xanax before the social worker arrives. I am supposed to only take one in case of emergencies, and right now I feel like this situation warrants that.
 

Lil

Well-Known Member
Really, it's going to be fine! I assure you, if you are a person who is worried about how clean your house is, it's clean enough!

Deep breaths.
:hangin:
 

Californiablonde

Well-Known Member
Lil, it doesn't help that my mom came over and said my house still needs a lot of work. difficult child has papers she needs to clean up and the kitchen floor needs to be mopped but otherwise I think my house looks good. Leave it up to my neat freak mom to make my anxiety worse!
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Good luck. I think it will be fine.

You probably need some serious distance from your critical mom who treats you like a child. It's your apartment, not hers, and you can be any kind of housekeeper you want. It's really none of her business. I'm a mom of four grown kids and would do a dust test with them nor tell them how to live their lives in a critical way. My mom did that to me and I decided to keep contact with her to the bare minimum. I felt like a kid around her and she treated me like a naughty, inept kid.
 

mom_to_3

Active Member
Good luck to you CB, it's no wonder your anxiety is sky high. I think anyone would have anxiety. I think your visit with the social worker will go fine. From what I've heard, it's VERY unusual for kids the age of yours to be removed. I would want both of my children to be with me when the social worker is present so that they can hear what is going on. One, so they don't have anxiety and two, so that they know YOU are not in trouble and I feel strongly that YOU are not in trouble! I think you are correct believing the principle of your difficult child's school called cps. Whatever you do, do not be on the defensive! Listen and respond. Like I said earlier, I think the odds are very slim that the social worker would remove your children. I do hope you go up the ladder and report that principle who has caused you so much stress and expose her antics for the world to see. None of us are perfect and it is her responsibility to HELP you, not HURT you, BULLY you, STEAL from you, or BREAK INTO your HOME!!!! Please be at as much peace as you can tonight and tomorrow take some time and stand up for yourself. You have gotten some good advise and you NEED to follow it not only for yourself and your difficult child, but for the other families this criminal principle terrorizes.
 
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